Indefinite Schism
by Nevara Alyss
Summary: A year has passed for Commander Shepard. A new mission and a new outlook await her on the battlefield. Can time heal all wounds? Or does trust override all rationalization? Sequel to "An Empty Divide." Strong language, violence, and smut.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is the sequel to "An Empty Divide. Enjoy! It's still a work in progress, but enjoy nonetheless. **

**Disclaimer: All characters, and places in the ME universe are owned by Bioware.**

0038 Zulu 07.11.2184

Dark rhythms filled the club in Shin Akiba. Heavy tribal beats thudded in Nevara's ears. Cloistered in a corner booth where the lights were at their dimmest; she stared at the glass in front of her. The iridescent colors from the lights swirled around the ice, refracting on to the table like a morbid rainbow. She hadn't drunk from it; instead she watched the condensation on the glass slip down the sides and pool at the base of the glass. She panned the room looking at all the unfamiliar faces enjoying the night with pure ecstasy.

Sliding from the booth, she made her way to the dance floor. Something primal in the drone of the bass beckoned her to join the massive wave of bodies. Her body swayed with the meter of the music. Her gyrations were fluid and flowing. In the compact space of the very open floor, she felt watched. Her eyes left the asari female standing in front of her and she looked into the crowd of onlookers that were making chit-chat; lost in their own conversations. A flash of the turian from the year before came into view. Nevara blinked the sweat out of her eyes and they realigned. There was no turian. There was no one. _You're imagining things, girl._

Nevara's skin glistened with perspiration as the music drew to its climax. Bodies moving in conjunction with each other ground to an orgy of writhing beings. The dancing was sexual. It overrode everything grounding Commander Shepard as a military officer. A male with green eyes had replaced the asari and was sliding his hand over her hips. It was erotica in its simplest form. The bass kept going; ebbing and flowing, urging the dancers on. Hedonistic pleasure filled Nevara. It wracked her core in shockwaves. Her dance partner was lost in the red head's seductive dance.

When the music's finale came, she was drenched in sweat. Her pulse raced and that drink she had left behind at her private table called to her. The green-eyed man leaned in close to her and asked her if she wanted a drink. Nevara pointed to her table and the lone glass sitting upon the table. Her smile faded quickly when she realized that a familiar face was sitting at the table as well. She apologized to the stranger and as quickly and calmly as she could, she went back to the table to see who was in her space.

"Captain Anderson?" asked Nevara. She saluted at the man in his dress uniform. He didn't bother standing; he just nodded and waved her to sit down.

"Commander Shepard, how is your free time going?"

"Fine, sir. I didn't expect to see you here." She stammered. She didn't know how long he'd been there; all she knew was that it had probably been too long. From a military standpoint, it didn't fit the decorum of military regulations.

"I know you didn't. I just thought I would drop by. You are a difficult woman to find sometimes." Captain Anderson stated, as he slid a datapad over to her.

"What's this?" Nevara asked.

"You're next assignment. Don't read it here." Captain Anderson stated, looking around the room. "You need to get back to Arcturus as soon as possible. That's all I'm going to say about it right now."

"Sir?"

"I know your leave is being cut short, but we need you on this one. Lieutenant Alenko will be waiting for you at your hotel."

"Understood, sir. I'll leave immediately." Nevara told him.

Captain Anderson slid from the booth and Nevara followed. She saluted him again, feeling very sheepish about herself. Captain Anderson saluted back and shook her hand before leaving the club. Nevara sipped her drink and grabbed the datapad before making her way to the bartender.

The blond woman standing behind the bar smiled as Nevara approached. She wiped the bar down with a damp rag and rested her hands on it.

"Whatcha need, hon?" The bartender asked with a heavy Southern accent.

"I'm closing out my tab for the night." Nevara told her, searching for her credit chit.

"Don't worry about it, hon, someone's already paid for it." The blond woman smiled as she spoke.

"May I ask who?" Nevara asked.

"I couldn't tell you who it was. They just paid for it and left."

"Okay. Can you tell me what they looked like?"

"I don't know, average. Human. He did leave this though."

She looked around the room suspicious of anyone looking at them. When she thought it was safe, she pulled a small box from under the counter. Nevara looked at it and then at the bartender. Her smile had faded now and her eyes were narrow. Her shoulders were very rigid and her face was drawn with nervousness.

"I see. Thank you." Nevara said. She looked around the room herself before grabbing the box and putting it under her arm.

The barmaid relaxed a little and winked at Nevara before stating, "Good luck out there, Shepard."

It rattled Nevara and her eyes locked on the woman's. She knew what was going on when the accent that the woman had carried had slipped. It sent a shiver down her spine and made knots grow in her stomach.

"Thank you again." Nevara obliged. She tried to keep her cool in that instant.

Her muscles tensed as she walked back to her hotel. She was on high alert all the way there. She was suspicious of any activity that was around her. There was no way of knowing what was going on until she got back to her room. Even then, she wasn't safe. She knew that Kaidan was going to be there when she arrived, but that gave her little solace to the fact of how dangerous the information she was carrying could be.

When she arrived at the small hotel, she was greeted by Kaidan. He was dawned in casual wear and a creepy smile that had matched the bartender's. When she stopped to talk to him, she got the feeling of being eyed, not just by Kaidan, but someone else that was lurking in the shadows of the foyer.

"Commander Shepard, how was your leave?" Kaidan asked. He saluted her and went to take the box. Nevara pulled away from him and glared.

"Lieutenant, do you always grab for something that hasn't been offered for you to carry?" Nevara snapped.

"No ma'am. I was just trying to help."

"I'm fully capable of carrying a box. Now, when are we supposed to leave?"

"Tomorrow morning, Commander."

"That seems decent enough." Nevara stated with a sigh.

Nevara walked past Kaidan towards the elevator. Kaidan followed in suit behind her and entered the elevator with her when she got on.

"Where are you staying tonight, Kaidan?" Nevara asked.

"I'm staying in the room next to yours." Kaidan answered as he looked at the floor.

"I see." Nevara answered back. The silence was thick. She watched the numbers that designated the floors blink by. Finally, a long sigh escaped her lips and the doors opened. When she walked off the elevator, she turned to Kaidan who was still looking at her. "If you are in the room next to mine, then you should get off."

"I know ma'am."

"Well, then why don't you?"

"Nothing ma'am. I'm just trying to figure out what's been up with you. What happened out there on Helyme?"

"Nothing happened on Helyme, Kaidan. What is there to know? I lost my squad. I was alone on a big damn planet and then you guys came for me. That's about it."

"Well, if that's all that happened, then I can't argue with that."

"Look, Kaidan, speak freely."

Kaidan stepped off the elevator and looked at Nevara for a long time before he said anything.

"I know more went on then that. I don't know to what extent, but I know that there is more to this than what you are letting on. You are a lot colder than you usually are, and you've been taking more frontline positions than you usually do. It almost seems like you have a death wish, and I'm worried about you. That's all I have to say about it."

Nevara's eyes narrowed. Of course she lied about what happened on Helyme. It wasn't the Alliance's damn business. She was doing a job. What gave Kaidan the damn right to judge her?

"I understand your concern, but don't worry about me. If I'm as cold as you say I am, then understand the fact that you weren't out there by yourself." Nevara stopped talking and walked to her room. Kaidan walked to his and they looked at each other. "This isn't something we should be talking about right now in this hallway."

"I agree, Shepard." Kaidan said walking into his room.

Nevara worked open the door and slid into the small room. She tossed the datapad and box into the chair and sat on the bed. Kicking off her boots, she thought about what had really happened on Helyme. If she'd told the Alliance about it, then eventually she could be charged with treason and that would be the last thing she wanted at that point.

She walked to the bathroom and the lights flickered on. The white tiled room was bright and she stared at herself in the mirror. Her pale skin reflected the light just as the tiles did. Her skin was luminous and her dark make up accented her hazel eyes. She pulled her shirt over her head, and scanned herself. Her small frame marred by scars of various sizes and shapes told a tragic and painful story. Her eyes narrowed on the perfect line of scars on her shoulder.

Remembering how she'd got them made her eyes fill with tears. Nevara hung her head and feelings that she had tucked away came back. Her body trembled as she turned on the water. She washed her makeup off and left the room. She picked up the first datapad and sat back on the bed.

_To: Commander Shepard_

_Assignment: Capture and Containment_

_You have been assigned to command a squad to find and seize a ranking commanding officer in the turian military. More information will be given once you arrive._

Nevara stared at the datapad. It didn't make any sense. Why send Captain Anderson to send a two sentence note to her in person? The details had to be good if he was there, and if she was handpicked for the mission. She set the datapad down and grabbed the box.

In the box there was another datapad. Nevara shook her head as she took it out of the box. She clicked the button and a jumbled message came on the screen.

_Commander Shepard:_

_We are in need of your assistance now. When you get to Arcturus, you will be given more specific instructions for your job. Until then, follow any and all orders as usual, so as not draw any suspicion to you._

_We're glad to have you in our service. With your help, we may be able to end this war in a short amount of time._

_Resistance Command _

A tab at the bottom of the screen flashed in quick succession. Nevara pressed it and a warning flashed across the screen. _All data saved will be deleted._ The datapad blinked twice and went out.

_It's about time they got a hold of me._

Nevara had held little hope of the resistance forces actually getting in contact with her. She didn't want what Commander Vakarian had said to be a lie. She looked at the clock in the room- _0330._

Nevara lay back on the bed and looked out the window. Lights from the metropolis shone brightly in her window. She looked past all of the shimmer and shine of the station to the stars that lay in the beyond. Her thoughts wandered in the expansive black. Her memories walked onto the scene like a movie.

Commander Vakarian's face ingrained into her memories. His voice still rang in her ears. She missed him more than she'd missed Xavier. Xavier was good, but something about Commander Vakarian had bled into her soul. She was a tragic entity and he was a peacekeeper. Nevara's demeanor had every right to change without him by her side. As much as she wanted to confide in Kaidan, she couldn't. He was a strictly by the book marine. She was as well, but what was she going to tell him. 'I slept with a turian on Helyme and I miss him. I feel lost without him.' _Yeah right._

She turned her back from the window and closed her eyes; pulling memories of their escapades to the forefront of her mind. _Blissful interludes and unending surrender_. Her stomach sank and her throat became tight. A yearning for a repeat encounter filled her body like a wave crashing across a beach. It swept her into parts of her being that even she rarely explored, but were fully exploited and pronounced by Commander Vakarian.

_You better be okay out there._


	2. Chapter 2

0600 Zulu 09.11.2184

Arcturus Station was buzzing with electricity. The usually quiet base was teaming with conversations about the latest strategy and the 'tennis match' fighting that was going on between the two races. It was less of a chess game and more about taking pot shots when they could. Both races locked in a stalemate for the last year and neither side was willing to back down. The asari mediators had failed at drawing a respectable conclusion to the fighting. Both races were too stubborn to back off and be the bigger man about it.

"It's a pissing contest and nothing more," mumbled Nevara under her breath.

She kept watching out the window as the cruisers and frigates made their patrols around the station. Some were leaving for skirmishes but since the bulk of the fleet was here, it made the time full of tension, and rightfully so. If the turians really wanted to attempt a killing blow, now was the time.

"Commander, when is this briefing supposed to happen?" Kaidan asked, as he leaned against the bulkhead.

Nevara took a drag off her cigarette and looked at her watch. "The mission briefing will be starting when they tell us to go in. Not before."

"Understood." Kaidan said with a hurt expression. He stared out the glass at the void of space and looked back at Nevara before starting again. "Shepard, I'm sorry I've been prying so much lately. You're one of my closest friends and I don't want anything to happen to you. About what was said before we got here, I was out of line."

Nevara turned to him and looked down the hall. "Kaidan, I understand your concerns, alright. I've been more on edge, I'll give you that. You didn't hurt my feelings, just let me be."

Finally a small squad of marines entered the briefing room followed by a familiar face. Captain Anderson smiled at both of them as they made their way into the room.

Sitting at the row of tables at the back of the room Nevara sat, prepared for whatever this life or death mission called for. The lights dimmed and the room grew quiet. Kaidan sat next to her and leaned back in the chair. Captain Anderson made his way to the center of the room. A holographic projection came up behind him. A young private walked in with a stack of datapads in his arms. He walked around passing them out to the others. When he was finished, he walked back to the door and waited to be acknowledged.

"Thank you, Corporal Jenkins. You are dismissed." Captain Anderson told him before turning back to the hologram.

Corporal Jenkins saluted and left the room. It was still dead silent when Anderson cleared his throat to begin his speech.

"Let me start by saying this before we get to the meat of what this mission is all about." He looked at Nevara with a sullen look before continuing. "Everyone here knows what happened on Mindoir. The colony was completely destroyed by the turians just over a year ago."

Nevara became rigid in her seat. She hadn't expected any news. Not anything concrete, just an abstract update. She'd been constantly asking about who perpetrated the act, just so she could exact her own personal punishment on them. Nothing ever came from it and most of the intelligence teams were busy or under orders not to discuss ongoing investigations. Whatever she had thought she'd been prepared for had turned hard to port leaving her dumbfounded and annoyed. Her attention was completely taken and her breathing became shallower. _Finally, some news._

Captain Anderson continued. "We have intel on the commander that led the force that attacked. We don't have a name, but we know where he's bunkered down at." He clicked a button and a picture of the turian came on the holo.

_An individual, how intriguing. A little vigilantism never hurt anyone before. Well it might, but that'll be their problem; not mine._

Nevara stared intently at the profile of the damn turian. Finding her companion turian left her imaginings and was now replaced by the eternal hatred she felt for her enemy. As much as she tried to ignore her feelings for her mate- _mate?, _she still realized that their courtship couldn't work until her loose thread was dealt with.

The armor was familiar, but a lot of turian officers wore it. His helmet was on, so there was nothing to really distinguish him from any other turian. Nevara stared at him drilling it into her mind. A new rage filled her when the thought of drilling him between the eyes came into her mind. It would be sweet satisfaction. Captain Anderson's voice faded away while she imagined all the things that she would do to that turian bastard when she got her hands on him.

"Commander Shepard. Commander Shepard?" Anderson's voice interrupted her thoughts and shocked her back into the now.

She looked at Anderson with her full attention. Everyone was looking at her with the utmost concern. She hadn't thrown a fit, but everyone in the room knew her history with the colony and knew that this was a personal vendetta that she'd held on to.

Anderson continued the presentation by pushing another button and the holo of a planet came up. "This is Aeia, it is in the Rosetta Nebula. It's an oxygen rich planet, so breathers will not be necessary. Latest reconnaissance reports say that the turians are planning small skirmishes on our colonies out in the Terminus. Expect between two and three platoons worth of turians. Turrets will be along the perimeter. This squad's mission is to bring this commander in for questioning. It will not be an easy task. The planet is undergoing its storm season and it is constantly raining there. Resources will be limited, so prepare accordingly. There will be patrols out in the jungle areas, but they shouldn't be too much of a problem to avoid."

"How are we supposed to undertake this mission; if we are supposed to sneak in and grab a turian from his post?" A female to Shepard's left asked.

Captain Anderson responded, crossing his arms. "This is just your mission. There is a mission that is going to be running in conjunction with yours. Ground teams and air strikes will give you cover and draw most of the forces away from your destination."

The female nodded and looked at Shepard.

"You will be given more detailed instructions once you are in orbit. Until then, crew dismissed." Captain Anderson explained.

The squad rose from their seats to leave. A low rumble from some of the marines made Nevara nervous. Most of the people were new recruits, though they tested well for Special Forces.

"Commander Shepard, can I speak with you for a second?" Anderson asked.

"I'll wait for you outside." Kaidan told Nevara before walking out of the room.

Nevara rose from her seat and walked to Anderson who was staring down the datapad in his hand.

"You need something, Captain," asked Nevara.

"Yes, Commander, there is something that I'd like to speak with you about." He walked to the desk and set the datapad down. "What are your thoughts on the mission? I know that this is highly personal for you."

"I'm good with it. If the Alliance wants him alive then I'll serve him up. I might not like it, but what else can I do about it?"

"True enough. There's one other thing that I'd like to discuss with you before you go." He paused and grabbed another datapad lying on the desk. "This is from the Resistance."

He handed it to her and she stared. _Anderson's the mole?_

"What is it?" She asked without looking at him.

"You're alternate objective. Your job is to keep him out of Alliance hands."

"How the hell am I supposed to do that? You've got me assigned to lead at least ten marines."

"You won't be taking all ten. You'll be divided into two groups to flank the perimeter. "

"Not to seem pessimistic about the whole plan but, where are we supposed to take him? If you are having ground troops and bombings, then that doesn't leave us much time or places to hide."

"There's a covert base that the Alliance was setting up to use before the Council nixed our plans. The turian military has been using it to hide their ranking military officials in the event of attack. There shouldn't be anyone there at the time, if there is; you know what to do about that. You're only objective is to get that officer out alive and away from the Alliance."

"How long are we supposed to wait before we can get him out of Alliance hands? I take it that this is not going to be as simple as a turian shuttle picking him up and taking him away."

"No, Commander. You are going to have to wait till we can get in contact with his superiors. We're looking at a window of about two weeks. Anytime within that span will be when he will be picked up."

"So you're telling me that I have to save the asshole that bombed my home, again? I think I should be reassigned because of my bias, sir." Nevara stated, coldly examining the datapad.

"That's not an option, Commander." Anderson stared blankly.

"What am I supposed to do about the other marines? They will eventually figure out what I'm up to."

"You'll have to do what you need to do to complete your mission. I know it won't be easy, but I am confident that you can do it. If you can reason with them, even better, but if not, then steps will need to be taken. Your identity can't be compromised. If it is, then you are a target to both sides and the Resistance within the Alliance will disavow any knowledge of you. You will be on your own, and I won't be able to help you."

"You are asking me to commit murder if they don't follow me. Not to mention treason."

"If you were so worried about it, Commander, then you shouldn't have accepted our offer. Other than that, I just want reiterate that I am sorry, but I know that you can come up with a plan with minimal casualties." Anderson frowned.

"I understand, Captain. I'll think of something," sighed Nevara.

"One more thing, Commander." Anderson said grabbing Nevara by the wrist. He pulled Nevara's collar aside exposing her shoulder. The truth was written all over it. He saw the scars that dotted her collarbone. He shook his head with concern and let her go. "You can't trust everyone here. Hold everyone with suspicion once you get out in the field. There are people within the Alliance that know what you are doing. Sleeper agents are already assigned to take you out, so just heed my warning."

"How did you know about that?" Nevara asked. She adjusted her collar again and blushed with shame.

"Please, Shepard, I'm not a fool. I was the one that sent you there to meet him. I know him personally. You two would work well together. The perfect mesh of personalities, if you will. That's why I picked you for it. I knew you could do it. I just didn't know it would go that far." Anderson chuckled while pointing at her shoulder.

"Yeah, neither did I," smirked Nevara.

"Well that'll be all. Just remember what I said." Anderson told her.

"I will." Nevara told him before walking out the door.

Kaidan was waiting for Nevara. He was talking to the brunette woman that sat near them. Nevara approached them and they both stopped and looked at her.

"Commander Shepard, this is Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams." Kaidan introduced her with a smile.

"Nice to meet you, ma'am. I've heard a lot about you." Ashley said, shuffling her feet with excitement.

"It's nice to meet you, too. So, what are you two talking about?" Nevara asked the both of them. Their smiles faded and they looked at the floor. They didn't look happy. It was like catching a child with its hand in the cookie jar. Nevara knew exactly what they were talking about. She lit a cigarette and folded her arms across her chest. "Look, if we are working together, I want utter honesty. If you were talking about me, then fine. Just understand this: I don't like being talked about behind my back."

"We sincerely apologize, ma'am." Kaidan said. Ashley nodded in agreement.

"Let's get out of here. We're supposed to be leaving in a couple of days according to the report." Nevara said to both of them.

"Aye, aye, ma'am. I'll be ready to go when needed." Ashley stated. She saluted both of them and left the two alone.

Nevara watched as Ashley walked away. When Ashley rounded a corner, she turned back to Kaidan.

"Walk with me, Kaidan. We need to talk." Nevara ordered.

"Whatever you need. Permission to speak freely, ma'am?" Kaidan implored.

"Sure, why not." Nevara nodded, expelling the used smoke from her mouth.

They turned and walked in silence. Nevara was lost in her thoughts letting Kaidan ramble on about things that were beyond his understanding. When they reached her quarters, she stopped and stared at him.

"Kaidan don't gripe about the situation; do something about it." Nevara told him.

"Shepard, there's just something up with this mission and I don't like it."

"Well, what do you want me to tell you? I can't hold your hand every time you think something is hinky."

"I know that, Shepard. I'm not an idiot."

"I never said you were. Look, you're my friend, and I trust you deeply. We've seen more things than any other person on this station could possibly imagine. Just because something doesn't feel right or you get the inkling that something catastrophic is going to happen doesn't mean that the worse is going to happen."

"Coming from you, Commander, that's quite shocking." Kaidan jabbed with a smirk.

"Yeah, yeah, the cynic acting like an optimist. Don't read into it too much." Nevara winked.

"No guts, no glory right?" Kaidan chuckled.

"You could say that." Nevara said looking at her door. "Is there something else you wanted?"

"No, Commander. Well, maybe one thing." Kaidan stopped before proceeding. "Do you want to have a drink later? Just as friends, nothing more."

Nevara's jaw clenched. _Regs are regs for a reason_. "No, that wouldn't be appropriate, Lieutenant."

Pulling rank on her friend, felt certainly like a betrayal. She'd never done it before when they were in private. Amongst the other lower ranking marines, she'd just accepted it as part of the job. It gave her a sickening feeling. Kaidan's face melted into a frown. He knew that the question was over the line, but it was worth a shot. _Right?_

"Sorry, Kaidan. I'm just not in the mood right now. I've got to prepare for the mission, and you should do the same." Nevara snapped.

"Shepard, I'm sorry. I was out of line for even asking." Kaidan apologized.

"You weren't; remember I said you could speak freely. I just didn't think you'd throw a curveball like that out there." Nevara said as she opened her door.

"Well then, ma'am. I'll see you at lunch then."

"Sure. If I'm not busy; I don't see why not."

"You're always busy."

"I know. My work is never done."

"I hear that. Well, I'll see you whenever then."

"Absolutely."

Nevara walked into her room and shut the door behind her. How the hell was she going to prepare something like this? She knew the mission wasn't going to be as cut and dry as she thought it was going to be. Yet, she enjoyed the challenge. She sat down at her desk and opened up several of the files on the datapad. Most of it was obscure knowledge about the planet. Strategy and exit routes. Plans of attack, suggestions for what to do when they infiltrate the complex. There were a lot of troops there for such a small complex. Obviously if they were going to try and attack more settled human colonies that was the jump point for it. It was, in fact, the perfect hiding place for the turian fleet to take out some of their colonies. The Council had banned that area. Whether they told them that they were going to use it or not, she didn't know. The Council had told the Alliance that they couldn't colonize that planet. With good reason, she was guessing.

She didn't want to deal with the fluff of the mission. Fluff, being her personal rage, regret for accepting the rebel forces. It didn't make much sense to her why the bastard had to survive and why it was her job to keep him out of Alliance hands. What was she supposed to do? _Put my life on the line just to get that turian bastard's ass off the planet? Sacrifice countless marines, just for him? Hell no!_

She lit a cigarette and continued reading. The dossier on the turian was little more than a couple of sentences and a brief description of his appearance. _Obviously recon didn't get a good look at him or he never took off his damn helmet._ She chuckled at the ineptitude of the Alliance's recon teams. _Send in a good old fashioned marine to get the job done and you'd have not only a good description of what the enemy looked like, but what their favorite food was for bonus points._

She grabbed a beer from her personal fridge and turned on the daily Alliance vids. _Nothing new_. It said the same thing every day: colonies on both sides were being seized and destroyed, and propaganda up the ass about hating turians and other races. _Terra Firma is having a field day with this._ Nevara flipped off the vids and sighed.

"VI, tell me when its noon. I'm going to have lunch with a friend." Nevara ordered.

"Yes Commander Shepard, will that be all?" The VI asked.

"No, just tell me when its time."

"Logging out, Commander."


	3. Chapter 3

2200 Zulu 14.11.2184

Interstellar flight made tensions high as they entered the system where Aeia resided. Captain Anderson gave his final overview of the mission before the squad entered the drop shuttle. Nevara tucked her pack of cigarettes in her pocket and sat nearest to the window. Kaidan sat across from her and neither said a word to one another.

Their spat in the mess hall had kept them from reconciling before the mission. Shepard's stubbornness and Kaidan's passive aggressiveness had them in a deadlock. Shepard pulled her pistol and sighted it one more time before takeoff. When she clicked the knob to perfection, she looked up at Kaidan. _We can't keep this up, it could compromise the mission._

"Are you ready for this?" Nevara asked with a smile.

"As ready as I'll ever be, Shepard." Kaidan answered back, returning the smile.

Nevara pulled up the comm channel for the squad and cleared her throat.

"Williams, you will be the leader on the secondary team. Everyone on that shuttle, listen to her as you would if you were under my direct command. Good luck and I'll see you at the rendezvous. Shepard, out."

Nevara exhaled a long stream of air and rubbed her eyes. As much as she'd tried to prepare for her mission, something in the back of her head told that something was terribly wrong. She looked out the window as the shuttle dropped and started reentry at the far side of the complex. They would be landing three klicks out and would have to go through a densely packed jungle, in the rain.

Ground troops were already on the ground engaging the enemy and their greatest advantage was the cover of night. Nevara grabbed a cigarette, realizing it was going to be the last one she would have for a long while.

The shuttle VI announced that they were five minutes out. Kaidan and Nevara looked at each other. They could read the other like a book. Something wasn't right. Nevara shifted in her armor and grabbed her helmet.

"Well guys, be safe out there. We know our objective. Infiltrate the base and extract the commanding officer."

"Aye, aye, Commander." The marines chimed in unison.

Nevara pulled her helmet on and slung her assault rifle in front of her. Watching as the shuttle cut through the trees to barren ground, she mumbled silently to herself. Incoherent words that made little sense to her and that made Kaidan tap Nevara's boot with his. Nevara blinked hard and stared at him.

"Are you alright, Commander?" Kaidan asked, concerned.

Nevara nodded. There wasn't much she could do about the mission. She still hadn't come up with a plan to get the turian out of there alive. _Once we get in there it's going to be chaos. Even more so once they find out what's going on. I need them on my side. _

"Alright team, are you locked and loaded? Be prepared and watch each other's backs." Nevara's yelled as the shuttle landed.

The small squad jumped out of the shuttle and it quickly took off. Nevara watched it fly off before making contact with Ashley's squad on the other side of the base. The area was dark and the rain pelted them hard. Flashes of lightning cast devious shadows from the trees. The ground was saturated and slick with run off.

"Bravo Team, are you in position?" Nevara asked.

"We're in position." Ashley responded.

"Watch for patrols and stay to the trees. The darkness should cover most of our movements." Nevara told her.

"Aye, aye, ma'am. See you when you get there."

"Williams, this isn't a race. You watch your squad like they're your children."

"Yes, ma'am."

"And quit calling me 'ma'am'. It makes me sound old. Just Shepard or Commander, but not ma'am."

"Aye, Commander."

Nevara turned to her squad and watched as Kaidan pulled up a map of the area. He pointed to the east and flicked off his omni-tool.

"Let's go guys. We have a long walk ahead of us. Just watch yourselves; there are still patrols out here."

The rampant gunfire filled the air and accentuated the thunder that skimmed across the skies. It was pitch black and slow going at the start. Nevara took point and followed the path until they came to a large ravine. Nevara again turned to Kaidan who shrugged in response to her confusion.

"Is there a way around this?" Nevara harshly whispered.

"No, Commander, this is the only way. It goes on for miles to the north and to the south we'd be running right into the combat zone." Kaidan whispered back.

"We need to find a way over-" Nevara's words were cut short by the sound of snapping twigs.

She waved the marines down into cover and watched as a patrol of three turians walked along the path 3 meters behind them. They were laughing to each other about the fighting to the south. The word _futile_ was passed around the trio as they continued laughing. One of the marines went to stand up and take them out, but Nevara waved him down. If they could get away from the guards that had finally stopped in front of them they would be safe- _for a little while anyways._ The patrol continued their march, unfazed by the battle going on behind them.

When they turned at the bend, the squad stood up and looked at Nevara. She looked back at Kaidan and nodded in the direction of the patrol.

"Follow them; they must have a way into the compound. They aren't going to walk into the middle of no man's land. Stay in the tree line and try not to make any sudden movements. No noise or radio traffic. Do you hear me?" Nevara ordered to her troops.

The marines nodded silently, taking Nevara's cue to move. Nevara took the lead as she watched from a short distance away from the turians. The thunder and wind covered the sounds of braking limbs and tumbling rocks. When lightning flashed, they froze to minimize detection.

They walked for ages in silence. Kaidan sent a message to Ashley's squad that they were following a patrol back to base. The only response they got back was an 'alright'. It didn't sit well with Shepard who was becoming aggravated at the situation. She checked her watch and sighed_._ Daybreak would be in about seven hours. If they were going to get into that base as fast as they could, they needed a plan.

Nevara stopped again when the turians came to a bridge. There was no cover and they would be sitting ducks out in the open. She scanned the walls of the base and counted four snipers at their perches. She waved Kaidan over to her. She knew what she was going to do, but she knew that Kaidan would resist the idea and she didn't have time to bicker about it.

"Kaidan, I have a plan. I need you to listen to me, and without the hemming and hawing." Nevara said with shattering determination.

Kaidan nodded slowly, waiting for what her marvelous plan was going to be. The rain still fell making it hard to see Shepard in the dim lights that emanated from the base. The turian patrol had met up with two guards at the bridge and was in the midst of a rather jolly conversation.

"Do you still have that locator and transmitter?" Nevara asked.

"Yeah, I still have it. What's the plan, Commander?" Kaidan replied, perplexed by the question. It was meant for their extraction.

"Give it to me," ordered Nevara. She held her hand out waiting for the small chip.

Kaidan reached into his pack and grabbed it. Before he handed it to her, he hesitated and sighed.

"Alright, men, here's the plan." Nevara started, shoving the chip in her boot. "I'm going to walk out there and draw their attention. If I'm captured, then even better, I'm at least hoping it gets that far. I don't want to be shot on sight."

"Commander, I don't think this is a good idea." Kaidan interjected.

"Well, Lieutenant, if you have a better idea at this second then I'd love to hear it." Nevara grumbled. She unloaded her weapons and handed them to one of the marines. She took her helmet off and handed it to another marine. She stowed away her knife in her other boot and stood up.

The marines sat in silence, staring at the two. Whatever her intentions were, they had better be good.

"This is suicide. You can't really expect them to let you walk in."

"No, I don't think they'll let me waltz in and grab our target."

"Well then what are you expecting?"

"I'm expecting to get the shit kicked out of me and then dragged off. If and when that happens, you just sit here and don't make a sound. Whatever happens to me let it be." Nevara glared at Kaidan. She knew that he would try to go in and save her.

"And the transmitter?"

"It'll be how you find me. Daybreak is coming soon, and hopefully they don't knock me around enough that I don't wake up in time. Just wait till the patrol drags me off. In another hour or so, the snipers will be calling it in for shift change. At that time, you will have ten minutes to get rid of the guards and get across that bridge. I'll fight my way through. Odds are, though, that they'll take me straight to the base commander." Nevara smiled a wicked smile.

"What do we do once we get across?" Kaidan asked in a shrill whisper.

"Hell, Kaidan, I don't know. Improvise." Shepard hissed.

Finally it dawned on Kaidan what she was intending to do and he smiled back. It should have been him taking the beating, but Nevara knew that the best thing to do in this situation is let her get backed into a corner. Win or lose, she was going down swinging.

"Why no helmet then?"

"Please, you think I need a helmet for this job? This is child's play." Nevara snickered. She drew in a long breath before taking a couple of steps towards the path. "Contact Ashley and tell them what's going on. Just make sure that they remain as covert as possible."

"Alright, Shepard. Just be careful, okay?"

"Relax, Kaidan. I know you'll come and find me." Nevara smirked faintly. That imposing threat she'd felt earlier, sent a chill up her spine. _Something is definitely wrong here._ The squad saluted Nevara as she walked away from them. They scattered amongst the trees in case things got bad.

Nevara walked to the path and stopped. The five turians were so fixated on their conversation, that they didn't even notice her walk up to them and stopped ten feet behind them. She was far enough away from her own squad that the turians couldn't see them in the dark, but close enough that the marines could see her.

She crossed her arms, waiting patiently for one of the turians to notice her. Nothing happened though. They were completely oblivious to her. She pulled a cigarette out and lit it and continued her stroll up to the guard post. She took a couple long, hard drags off of it before throwing it to the wayside. It hit a rock and bounced into a nearby puddle causing it to sizzle in the night. _This had better fucking work. It's not one of your better plans, Nevara, but there wasn't much choice, now was there?_

"Excuse me-" the tiniest feminine voice Nevara could conjure came out.

The turians all turned at once and drew down on her. Nevara's eyes became large with fear. _And the winner for best leading actress in an action vid goes to…_

"I'm new here-" Nevara continued.

The turians slowly walked around Nevara; surrounding her with their guns pointed at her.

"I got separated from my troop and I don't know what to do. Could you help me?"

The turians looked at each other with confusion. If they knew she was lying, she'd be dead on the spot in a matter of moments. Their mandibles quivered rapidly with excitement. One of the turians with white markings on his face smiled. It was the same smile Nevara saw when she was being beaten by Gaeto on Helyme. _Oh hell, this was a bad idea and it's going to hurt. Just hold tight, Kaidan. Don't blow your cover._

Her thoughts shattered in a blast of pain to her face. She staggered back, shaking off the daze she was falling in and out of. She couldn't act big and bad in this case, she needed to be meek and weak so as not to lose complete consciousness. _A couple good hits should do it. _Another punch knocked the wind out her, making her choke and gasp. She crumpled to her knees, trying to regain her breath. Each hit that landed after that seemed to be applauded by each crack of thunder. Blood oozed from her mouth, diluted by the rainwater that dripped from her hair. _I've had enough of this._

A heavy boot kicked her in the stomach, flipping her onto her back. She looked towards the woods near where she'd left her unit. She knew they were filled with fear, watching her being beaten, but she could handle it. It wasn't her first assault that she'd lost, but she wasn't trying to win this one. Nevara closed her eyes and played unconscious.

She heard them talking and laughing in delight at her. It didn't phase her one bit, but the sound of a gun cocking did. The cold barrel pressed against her temple and she could feel it trembling with tension. _Well, this isn't what I wanted. _Slowly she heard the steel of the trigger being squeezed.

"Wait, the commander wants to see her." One of the turians said to the trigger man.

"What? Why?" The white faced turian asked. She knew it was him, he was the one doing most of the damage. He quickly became agitated.

"I don't know why. He just says he wants to see her. She's a POW now, so those are the rules." The first turian spoke. "You know how he feels about mishandling prisoners."

"As long as we can finish this after the damn attack. Fucking humans, trying to flex their military muscle." Grumbled the turian.

"Sanhiak, just take Liliandaz and drag her ass to him."

"Nihlus, you have to be kidding! Honestly, this doesn't make any sense for him." Sanhiak yelled in a rage.

"Keep your damn fit to yourself. Do your fucking job and take her to the commander." Nihlus ordered.

Sanhiak and Liliandaz each grabbed an arm and started dragging Nevara across the bridge. She kept her head low and opened her eyes. It was a long drop to the bottom of the ravine and she didn't wish to be thrown over the side. Her plan had worked. They were taking her within the walls of the compound.

The entire way to the main building Sanhiak and Liliandaz argued back and forth about whether they should really take her to the commander or not.

"Fuck him. We could just say she died in-transit." Sanhiak growled.

"Please, and be under his wrath? Forget it." Liliandaz shivered. The idea of his execution made getting Nevara to her destination all the more dire.

The bridge went on and on. When they made it to the other side, they were stopped by another gate guard.

"We've got a package for the commander." Sanhiak chuckled.

"Yeah, the first gate already radioed ahead. Go ahead." The guard stated, looking at Nevara. She closed her eyes quickly and felt herself being dragged again.

It was still a long walk to the base and the rain continued to fall. Nevara's armor was drenched and the wind amplified the cold water. She shivered uncontrollably. When they hit gravel, the two turians stopped and dropped her on the ground. She listened intently as their footsteps walked away from her. Finally, she could relax her strained shoulders. Her arms burned and her head throbbed. _Why these damn turians are so fond of kicking, I'll never know._

Nevara stirred a little causing her motions to be noticed by her captures. _Fuck._

"Look at that; she survived." Sanhiak commented.

"We better get her to the commander." Liliandaz spoke as he hurried to Nevara's side.

Sanhiak picked Nevara up and snapped handcuffs on. He shoved her to move and she obliged keeping her head down. She shuffled her feet leaving heavy grooves in the gravel. If her team was coming they would need to see which entrance she took. Her arms were grappled by the two turians as they drug her along. She resisted little being as passive on the exterior as she could be. From within her, a fire burned waiting to burst out like a lit stick of dynamite.

The inside corridor was cool. Lights gleamed along the tile floor and the chatter that filled the passing rooms echoed out. There were few turians in the complex and their ground troops were exiting to take on the fight outside.

"Come on. Hurry up, it's almost shift change; I have reports to finish." Snarled Sanhiak.

"Please don't kill me." Nevara whimpered sounding as small as she could.

"Shut up and keep walking." Sanhiak snapped, tightening his grip on her arm.

Turning a corner they came to a set of double doors. The pair of turians pushed the door open and dropped Nevara on the floor. She landed back on her knees while Liliandaz cleared his throat.

"Commander, we have brought the prisoner."

The turian never turned around, he kept looking at the screen in front of him.

"If that'll be all, sir."

The commander muttered to himself in a low grumbling voice. Nevara looked up at the turian. Something about the growl was familiar. She couldn't place it, but the nagging feeling came back and her stomach tied in knots.

As slowly as she could she withdrew her knife from her boot and waited. She looked up at Sanhiak waiting for the moment to strike. Before she could jump to her feet, an explosion rattled the foundation of the base. Alarms started going off and the turian sitting turned around to nod off the pair. When they went to leave, Nevara swept her legs in front of Sanhiak tripping him to the ground.

Nevara lunged at him driving the knife into the gap between his armor. She twisted it a quarter turn and jumped to her feet. Sanhiak smacked her off and she slid on the floor. Nevara jumped to her feet and kicked the turian in the face once, snapping his neck in one fell swoop. She looked at Liliandaz, who was frozen with shock. He turned back to pull his gun on her and she jumped over Sanhiak lying on the floor and smacked the assault rifle out of the way. In the same motion, she pulled his side arm and fired.

She hit both of his knees and he fell screaming. Nevara pulled back and whipped him across the face of the gun. She kicked the rifle out of the turian's hand and kicked him in the side of the head, knocking him cold. Nevara looked at the turian who for some reason didn't bother moving during the assault. She took a step backwards out of the room and heard the pounding of boots flanking her. _Finally, they made it._

Nevara panted hard and wiped the sweat from her forehead, hands still bound. She drew down on the commander unable to think about what to do. _Shoot him; shoot him for what he did. No, don't shoot him. You need him alive regardless of what side you are working for. _Nevara winced, her feelings intermingled.

"Commander!" Kaidan yelled from her left.

Nevara looked and smiled. _Finally, we can get the hell out of here._

"Lieutenant! Commander!" Ashley yelled from the right.

They both met up alongside Shepard. They peered into the room and watched as the turian slowly swiveled in the chair. _Something is wrong. Really wrong._

She was trained on him ready to snap. The smaller unit of marines all drew their weapons ready for a fight. Nevara had them maneuver out of the way and lower their weapons.

"Commander, I don't think this a good idea." Kaidan snipped.

"Just do it. He didn't even flinch when I took out these guards. No, something isn't right." Nevara stated, never taking her eyes at the turian staring at her.

A second echoing of boots came from behind them. Kaidan and Ashley looked behind them.

"Commander, what are you doing? We need to get out of here and we're running out of time." Ashley yelped.

"Marines, hold position, if anything comes down that hallway, shoot it!" Nevara ordered. Her eyes narrowed and she became rigid. "Alright, you, stand up and take off the helmet." Nevara yelled. "Don't do anything stupid. You got me?"

"I thought you'd never ask," the voice under the helmet commented with a snicker.


	4. Chapter 4

0315 Zulu 12.11.2184

_That voice. It couldn't be- _Nevara's throat became dry. Her gun hand became heavy_. It can't be him. Oh, God, it can't be him. Not him._ Nevara's eyes grew wide, more from shock, but she couldn't be right. She had to be wrong.

"What did you say?" Nevara asked, infuriated.

"I thought you'd never ask." The familiar voice repeated.

"Commander, I don't know what you have planned next, but we've got to move." Kaidan pleaded.

She couldn't look away. Her eyes grew wet and her hands shook violently. The turian cocked his head for a second. The tension between them could be felt by everyone.

"Commander, we've got to move. Now!" Ashley barked.

Nevara nodded. "Yeah, I know." She sulked.

"I'm going to take off my helmet now, okay?" The turian said, slowly raising his hands.

"Alright, just don't do anything funny." Nevara pleaded. _Please be wrong. Please be wrong_. Her determination was waning, but she had to remain strong. She pointed the gun further hoping that he would make a wrong move and she could end it. An 'accident', she'd call it in her report.

Dislodging his helmet, he lifted it from his head. The blue eyes, the facial markings, everything was a perfect match. His eyes looked around at the faces of the people looking at him. Slowly, he smiled and dropped the helmet to the floor. He looked back at Nevara and shook his head.

"Commander Shepard, I presume?" His voice was cold.

"Yes." Nevara whispered.

"Commander Garrus Vakarian." He smirked.

"Your gun." Nevara said.

"Excuse me?" Garrus asked.

"Your gun. Take it off and throw it here." Nevara ordered.

"Oh right." Garrus giggled. He grabbed for his gun.

"Slowly." Nevara snapped. She never took her pistol off of him. She couldn't take it. How the hell was she going to explain this to her squad?

He slowed his pace and threw it to Kaidan. He eyed him intently and remembered how familiar he was. _The one that came to get her_. He looked back at Nevara. She couldn't look at him anymore. She turned away and whispered to Kaidan.

"Cuff him." She whispered. It was barely audible to Kaidan.

Kaidan started walking towards him. Before he could grab him a voice came over Garrus's comm channel.

"Sir, we've got intruders in the base. Do you need assistance?" The one called Nihlus asked.

"No, I've got it under control." Garrus grumbled.

Kaidan looked back at Shepard, confused. Nevara shrugged, pretending not to know what was going on. She turned back to the dead turian on the floor and rummaged through his pockets and found the key to the cuffs. Ashley bent down and unlocked them for her. They fell to the ground with a metallic ring. Nevara rubbed her wrists and turned back to the unconscious turian.

"Grab him." She told Ashley.

"Ma'am?" Ashley implored.

"Do it." Nevara demanded, kicking the cuffs over to Ashley. She looked back at Kaidan who had finished cuffing Garrus. She walked up to the turian, sizing him up. She looked him in the eyes the way she'd done so few times before. It was a warm and welcoming looking. She looked towards Kaidan who remained silent in those moments. Her smile faded and became a thin line across her face. Two tears leaked from her eyes. She wiped them away and beckoned Garrus down to her level.

"You're under arrest." She murmured, before she turned away from him she planted her fist across jaw. "I won't be playing the 'be kind to POWs' card." She snarled as she left his immediate presence. Garrus fell back against the desk and shook the blood from his mouth. His mandables flared with anger.

"Ready, Commander." Kaidan said.

"Alright, grab the fucking turians. We're getting out of here." Nevara said with renewed confidence, yet more wounded than ever. She walked out of the room, not fearing being caught. Whatever was going on was none of her concern anymore. She wasn't going to let him go_. Fuck the Resistance, fuck the war, and fuck him. _Nevara wiped away the tears that were forming and started backtracking to the entrance.

The turian patrol that Nihlus was leading would meet them there. She needed to come up with a plan and fast or it was going to be a blood bath. She looked down at her watch. _Broken. Fuck._ She turned around and saw the squad trying to catch up with her. Garrus stood between both Ashley and Kaidan. His head hung low. Two of the other marines were dragging the second turian trying to patch him up as they walked. The last three were on high alert for any hostiles.

"Sergeant! What time is it?" Nevara asked in a louder than necessary voice.

The whole group stopped and stared. _What was Commander Shepard thinking?_ Garrus raised his head and glared at her again.

"Um, um, um." The young sergeant stuttered.

"Oh, for fuck sakes boy, what the fuck is the time?" Nevara yelled again.

"I don't know, ma'am." He stammered.

"What? You don't have a watch?" She questioned.

"No ma'am. I do have one, but-"

"Good, then tell me what the hell the time is." Nevara barked.

She pulled a cigarette out and lit it. She tapped her foot waiting for an answer. She was already pissed off; she didn't need to deal with this bullshit.

"It's oh-four-hundred." The sergeant finally let out.

"Good, we don't have much time left. Air support will be coming in a half an hour. We need to get as far away from this base as we can." Nevara snorted, turning on her heels.

The entire unit walked in silence. Nevara's mind was flooded with flashes of the past year. Battle after battle, friends dying, friends living, Helyme and its sweet revenge, and her nights with her now prisoner. She turned a corner dropping her cigarette on the tile and stomping it out. She stopped and waved Kaidan to her.

"I want to speak with the turian."

"Are you sure?" Kaidan asked with a disgusted face.

"Are you going to question every fucking thing I say, Lieutenant?" Nevara turned on him. "Bring me the fucking turian now! If you've got anything else to say, we can take it up in private."

"Aye, aye, Commander." Kaidan said, pointing at the turian. "Commander Shepard wants to talk to you. If you do anything stupid, I will shoot you."

Garrus walked up alongside Nevara. She looked up at him with a hatred he'd never seen in her before.

"Why?" Nevara asked.

"Why what?"

"You know what. It was you all along?" Her voice cracked.

"Look, you and I both know we can't have this conversation here. What are you going to do about all these marines? Nihlus is already waiting for us. If you haven't thought of something by now-"

"Don't tell me how to do things. I know what I'm doing, alright? Just, just, I don't know-" Nevara kneed Garrus in the gut, dropping him to his knees. He looked up at her in shock that she'd hit him. After everything they'd been through, he could understand her feelings about Mindoir but she'd never beat on him before.

"Do you feel better?" He hissed, catching his breath.

Nevara pulled her pistol and pointed it at him. It would take a fraction of a second to avenge all her friends. _Revenge, sweet revenge. Best served at the end of a muzzle._

"Commander!" Kaidan yelled.

Nevara blinked heavily, realizing what she was planning to do. If it was the two of them alone, she'd have pulled that trigger, left his brain matter all over the floor and reveled in every speck of blood spatter.

"You're lucky. We'll deal with this later." She gritted her teeth and an evil smile crossed her face.

"I'm looking forward to it… Nevara."

She walked away from him and continued swearing in her head about the betrayal. _He used me. For god's sakes, he used me. _Nevara made it to the doors first and pushed them open. A hail storm had replaced the sheets of rain the fell. _Fucking great. _She walked out into the pelting ice. She looked at her omni-tool and plugged in the coordinates for the smaller base. They'd have to backtrack through the woods a little ways to where they were dropped off.

"Let's go." Nevara said. She continued her walk, huddling her shoulders which offered little protection from the hail.

"Commander, you know which way you're going right? Where are the guards? This doesn't look right."

"I thought you got them, Lieutenant," Nevara called back.

"No, there wasn't anyone here."

"Suspicious."  
"Very." Kaidan acknowledged looking around.

Nevara stopped again and looked out into the woods. The wind hid most of the movement of anything that was out there, but there was something definitely moving.

"We've got company." Nevara mumbled to herself, pulling her side arm. "Come out here."

Six turians walked out of the tree line, weapons pointed at Shepard. From behind, Nevara she could hear the clicking of slides locking into place.

"Nihlus, weapons down." Garrus yelled.

"Sir, we just can't let you go." Nihlus told him.

"Don't worry about it. Weapons down." Garrus tried to reassure himself and his fellow turian.

Slowly, the turians lowered their weapons. Nevara took a couple of steps back, she cackled to herself. Her laugh was an awkward sound. It was barely heard by anyone.

"You should have just fired." She belted. Nevara fired at them, shooting them down before they knew what was going on. Nihlus stood alone now, his small squad laid dead and dying around him.

"What are you doing?" Garrus yelled, struggling free of Kaidan's grip.

Nevara turned around and pointed her gun at him.

"Leaving no witnesses. You really think they would just let us walk by with you." Yeah fucking right. Alenko, grab the turian, we've got another one the Alliance can interrogate." Her eyes were cold and empty.

"You can't do that!" Garrus barked.

"I can and I will. Fall back or you'll get it next." Shepard snapped.

Alenko walked passed both of them towards Nihlus.

"Hands behind your back." Kaidan ordered, looking at Nevara.

She continued walking watching the trees sway in the wind. She couldn't take it anymore; her body throbbed with anger and irrationality. She'd never executed anyone before, nor had she ever had the urge to do so. Times were different now. It had manifested itself in the worst possible way. Her boots filled with rainwater and her head hurt from the pelting icy rain.

When they got to the drop off point she veered off the path towards the beach. They needed to find cover soon. A loud explosion made her turn around and look to the skies. Billowing smoke and flames leapt to the sky.

"Bombardments, started. We need to get to cover fast." Nevara yelled, waving everyone along.

Her demeanor had changed. She was cold and uncaring to the captives, but overtly concerned about her squad. The young marine she'd snapped at earlier tripped over a downed tree. She helped him up to his feet and dusted him off.

"You alright, Sergeant?" She asked in a calm voice.

"Yes, ma'am. No damage, just some scrapes." He answered.

"What's your name, soldier?"

"Winters. Nathan Winters, ma'am."

"Well, Nathan, I'm sorry for biting your head off earlier. We're all under pressure here." She assured him.

"I understand, ma'am."

"Don't call me ma'am, please." She asked before walking away from him.

"Commander? Can I ask you something?" Winters asked.

"Sure, Nathan, what is it?"

"What is your relationship to the turian?" Winters concern carried over to his voice.

"No history, why?" She responded. She looked at Garrus for a second, who had stopped and waited for her response.

"Well, he seems very familiar with you, Commander."

"I don't know why, Nathan. It'll all come out before the end. Trust me." She stated, resuming her previous pace to the lead. When she passed Garrus, she looked at him and he looked back with a hurt expression on his face. He mouthed something to her, but she couldn't make any sense of it.

When they hit the beach Kaidan stopped and called out. "Commander, where do we go from here?"

"Turn to your left and look along the tree line." Kaidan left Garrus in the care of Ashley and he strolled along the trees alert to any movement.

"What am I looking for?" He asked.

"A manhole cover." She replied.

"Seriously?" He laughed at her answer.

"Yeah, you should be near it." She watched as Kaidan looked around for a little bit, kicking the underbrush aside. Scuffling from behind Nevara made her turn to acknowledge the sound.

"Get off of me." Liliandaz yelped, struggling free of his captures.

He started running along the beach. The two guards raised their guns to run after him.

"Don't worry about it." Nevara snapped. She lit another cigarette and pointed her gun at him. _One, two, three._ She fired her gun once and the turian fell. "Go get that piece of shit and drag him back here. We don't have time for this."

At the same time, Kaidan called to Shepard. "I found it."

Nevara nodded at him and turned to Ashley. "You and the others take the captives and wait at the bottom of the shaft. I'm going to wait for those three."

"Aye, aye, Commander." Ashley saluted, dragging the turian with her.

Nevara's eyes turned back to the crumpled heap on the ground. Winters grabbed Liliandaz by the foot and the pair started dragging him back. What should have been a five minute walk, took longer from the constant bombardment strikes. She waved them along when they caught up to her.

"Is he alive?" She asked kicking the turian in the side.

"Yeah, you got him in the back of the knee." Winters explained.

"Didn't you just fix that?" She prodded.

"Yes, Commander, we did, but his knees completely blown out now. I don't think medi-gel is going to fix this problem."

"So he's going to suffer?" She eyed the sergeant.

"Well once we get downstairs, they'll have a better facility, we might be able to save him."

"Why bother?" Nevara mumbled. She sighed and scratched her head. "Alright let's go. We still have a little ways to go."

They walked together for the rest of the way. All the while, Liliandaz moaned and groaned at every bump that hit him.

When they got to the hole, Nevara shined her flashlight down and saw the shielded eyes of Kaidan looking back at her.

"We can't open the elevator ma'am." Kaidan called up to her.

"I know. I've got the code for it. We're coming right down." She called back.

They slid Liliandaz down the ladder first. Kaidan caught him and waited for the marines to take up the slack. Nevara was last. She took a couple of steps down the rungs, sliding the lid over the opening.

When she got the bottom, they were all looking at her, waiting. It was a small confined hallway. Luckily, she was a small woman and scooted by with ease to the elevator. She punched in the code and the doors opened.

"Everyone on, next stop, hell." She sneered. She watched the two turians walk on to the elevator, followed by the third being carried. His arms slung over the shoulders of Winters and another she'd come to find out as Dillon. The marines followed suit, encapsulating Garrus and Nihlus in the corners. Nevara entered the elevator and pushed the buttons and waited the whole ride down in silence. No one moved, no one struggled. No one wanted to agitate the commander anymore than she already was.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: To all the people that have commented and PMed me I give my thanks for the support! For those that have asked about Shepard's state of mind, listen to the "Beginning is the End is the Beginning" by The Smashing Pumpkins. It is the basis for how I created and play my Shep in game and how I wrote the sequel. **

**I'll quote myself from a personal moment last week, "call what happened a +35 renegade interrupt."**

**Now let's continue the journey… :D**

* * *

0630 Zulu 12.11.2184

Stepping off the elevator, Nevara felt the cool, damp air envelope her. She turned to the bundled pack of bodies in the car and smiled. It had been the first time she'd done it in a truly innocent fashion since the mission began. She continued walking, waving her omni-tool over the many locked doors. Each door clicked as it unlocked and opened. She had nothing to say about her actions nor did she regret anything that she had done. _Maybe at a later date, but not now._

"Find a place to sleep, while I find a place for our guests." Nevara snickered, continuing to walk away from the group.

"Are you sure we're alone here?" Kaidan asked, before proceeding.

"The elevator wouldn't have been locked if there was someone here." Nevara answered flippantly.

She stopped when she came to a junction. She looked right and saw a small mess area. The door in front of her was medical. "Winters, try and fix up the turian the best you can." She turned left and continued unlocking doors. The last three doors at the end of the hallway were already unlocked and the doors were broken. _Communications, maintenance, and a war room._ Turning around, she noticed that Winters was staring at her.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

"Nothing, Commander. Do you know where you are going to put the turians?"

"Yeah, in the room next to the med area."

Winters swallowed hard and nodded before proceeding through the door. Nevara hesitated for a moment and met back up with her unit. Nihlus was struggling to get out of Kaidan's grasp.

He lunged towards Shepard, who gave him a less than amused smile.

"Calm down." Kaidan told him.

"No, no, Kaidan, it's alright." Nevara reassured him. "Let him keep talking."

"I know you, Commander Shepard. I know you and Commander Vakarian. Traitors." Nihlus hissed.

"What's he talking about?" Kaidan asked.

Nevara shrugged.

"He's talking about nothing." Garrus chimed in.

"No one was talking to you, turian." Ashley interjected.

Nihlus continued his raving. He frothed at the mouth, making his point more irrational. "You and him, intermingling species."

Kaidan looked at Shepard. Nevara just shook her head and continued to wave Nihlus on. She didn't have to say anything. Her posture said it all.

"Don't say anything, Nihlus." Garrus snapped.

"I don't take orders from you anymore, Garrus. Look at what you've gotten us into." Nihlus retorted.

"Well, if you'd done your job like you were supposed to, then none of this would have happened." Garrus growled.

"What are you talking about?" Kaidan questioned Nihlus.

"They're working against both of us. Ask her. Go on, ask her. I'm sure she'd love to tell you everything." Nihlus prodded.

"Commander?" Kaidan eked out. "What's he talking about?"

"Oh- oh! She hasn't told you yet? How very interesting." Nihlus sneered.

"Shut up! Just shut up. When I get free of this, I'm going to make you regret it." Garrus yelled.

"I'd like to see you try." Nihlus shot back.

Nevara's eyes were blank. She didn't let what Nihlus was saying get to her. She couldn't. She would tell them when the time was right and not before. Kaidan and Ashley had both joined in on the argument, trying to get Nihlus to tell them what he was hinting at. Garrus kept telling him to shut up. The noise was deafening.

"Fine, you want to know what I'm getting at, I'll tell you. Your dear hero Commander is-" Nihlus said with glee.

"That's enough!" Nevara bellowed.

The four of them stopped and looked at Shepard. She was quaking with anger. Nihlus was grinning a wide grin. The damage was done; he'd planted the seeds of doubt in their heads.

"What's wrong, Commander? Am I getting a little personal?" Nihlus chuckled.

"Do you realize what you've done?" Garrus asked, dismayed.

"I do, Garrus. I do." Nihlus said, satisfied.

"If they do anything-" Garrus grumbled.

"I said, enough." Nevara snapped at them. "We'll sort everything out later. Kaidan, Ashley, put them in their room. No armor, you got me."

"Aye, aye, Commander. Anything else?" Kaidan asked as he eyed the two turians.

"Not right now. If they're going to kill each other, let them do it out of my sight. I've got things to do here. Marsters and Tennant, I want you on that door for guard detail. When Winters is done fixing up the other one let him in. Just make sure you lock the door."

The four marines saluted and walked passed Shepard looking at her with questioning looks. Nevara walked into the captain's quarters and closed the door behind her. She stripped out of her armor and grabbed a set of BDUs. She was chilled to the bone still and laying her armor out to dry, she thought of how she was going to tell the Resistance that she might have been compromised.

She sent the mission report via omni-tool messenger and waited for a response. There wasn't one. _Anderson said they would disavow any knowledge of me if I was caught. _Nevara tried to shake the dread that was slowly creeping into her. She was on her own. Whether she succeeded one way or another, she was in trouble. A fugitive. A knock on the door followed by Kaidan asking to come in made Shepard jump.

"Come on in Kaidan. What do you need?" Nevara asked.

Kaidan came in slowly looking behind him before closing the door.

"Shepard we need to talk." Kaidan said.

"About what? You know I have an open door policy."

"You know damn well what." Kaidan snapped.

Nevara shook her head. It wasn't the time to sort out the problems that were going on there right now. She just wanted the day over and to start fresh tomorrow. If she was going to have to tell them about what's going on, she was hoping to at least do it while everyone was level headed. Nihlus made sure, though, that everyone was going to be stressed and under duress until the mission was over.

"Come on, Shepard. It's me, not some underling that doesn't know you."

"Start from the beginning and tell me what's on your mind. If I can answer your questions then I will. If not, then you'll just have to deal with that." Nevara stared at him waiting for a response.

"The beginning, huh? Okay. Well, then what the hell were you thinking?" Kaidan yelled

"Excuse me?" Shepard snorted.

"You executed five turians in cold blood."

"What of it?"

"What the hell is up with you?"

"Nothing is up with me. Why is that so hard for you to understand?" Nevara yelled back, jumping from her desk.

"Really, if you think I'm that dense could you at least tell me why the hell we are really here? I mean, you've been given the master plans and are leaving everyone else in the dark. If it's strictly need to know, then I'll accept it."

"It is strictly none of your damn business. You do your damn job like you are supposed to and nothing more."

"Fine, fine. Then what was that turian, Nihlus, talking about? He seems to know more about what is going on here than any of us and we work with you."

"He's fucking with your mind, Alenko. Nothing more."

"I don't think he is. He knows who you are. Do you have a connection to that other turian? Let me know Shepard. Have you been compromised?"

"Drop it, Kaidan. That's an order." Nevara barked.

"You really have lost it haven't you? I've never seen you execute anyone before. On top of that, you've lost your fucking mind. Mistreatment of prisoners, the Alliance is going to hand you your ass when they find out."

"You going to tattle on me?"

"If I have to, then yes. I just don't like what I see going on here. This is bad Shepard and you are in deep."

"I can take care of myself."

"But you aren't by yourself Shepard. I know you're pissed that you couldn't get reassigned. This is personal, I get that. But getting in an up close and personal confrontation with Vakarian, just isn't something that I've seen you crack from."

"Ah, Kaidan, do you want a tissue?" Nevara mocked.

"Fuck you, Shepard."

"No, fuck you. All I do is deal with you whining and your lame ass attempt at being the big bad man. So what if I'm a little unhinged right now. You have no fucking idea what's going on."

"Enlighten me then, hm. Go on then, spell it out for me if I'm so thick." Kaidan goaded.

"This is bullshit, Kaidan. I don't have time for this, and I don't have to tell you a fucking thing." Nevara snapped through gritted teeth.

"Well make time. That's always your excuse- 'no time'. We're marines, Shepard. We watch each other's backs." Kaidan's voice dropped.

"Yeah, well, where were you when I needed you?"

"What are you talking about, Shepard?"

"Nothing." Nevara answered turning back to the desk. She punched it once and sobbed silently.

"No, what is it? Tell me damn it."

"Get out." Shepard whispered.

"Not until you tell me what's going on. You owe me that much."

"I don't owe you any fucking thing! Get out!" Nevara yelled, pointing at the door.

"Shepard, if I could have done anything for you, I would have. I'm just worried about you."

"You've said that countless times already. I'll tell you when I'm prepared, and not before."

"Alright, Shepard. I'll leave it alone. I'll be here if you need me." Kaidan murmured.

"Don't- don't say that. I've heard that too often enough."

"Well, I just wanted you to know that you have a shoulder."

Nevara stiffened. Her overly calm demeanor came back and she looked at Kaidan.

"I don't need a shoulder. I don't need someone to watch my every move and wonder if I'm doing the right thing. You aren't my conscious. I just want a friend. Nothing more. Remember?"

"I remember. Then as a friend and not as my commanding officer will you really tell me what's going on?"

"Once everything calms down here and we get settled in, then yes I will." Nevara reaffirmed her control. "You should probably go and get some rest. The day is starting pretty early."

"Understood, Shepard. See you in the morning." Kaidan agreed, walking out of the room.

Nevara rubbed her forehead, trying to ease the throbbing headache that had been with her since taking that punch earlier. She walked out of the room and down to the medbay. Nevara poked her head in to see what progress Winters had made.

Winters was finishing bandaging the turians knee. The gauze stuck to the plates on the turian's leg making him have to rewrap each layer repeatedly. The turian was nearly naked and so small compared to the other two.

"How is he?" Nevara asked.

"He's still unconscious, but I think with enough time and medi-gel he'll make a full recovery."

"How bad was it?"

"I'm just a medic, Commander. If you want my professional opinion, then I would have amputated the leg. But the Alliance probably wants him alive now that we have him right?"

Nevara nodded, looking at the turian.

"Was he any trouble for you?"

"No. He woke up as I pulled off his armor, but I think he was more scared than anything."

"Scared turian? Isn't that an oxymoron?" Nevara snorted.

"I would guess so, Commander." Winters looked at Nevara with a curious look on his face. "I've never even seen a turian before in person. Only in books. They don't look as big or intimidating without their armor, do they?"

"No, Sergeant. No they don't. Is it your first time in the field?" Shepard answered.

"Yes, ma'am."

"Do you need help taking him to the room?"

"That would be most helpful ma'am. If you want to get one of the guards that would help a lot."

"I'll help you, it's no problem." Nevara said with a smile.

"Alright, ma'am."

Nevara walked to one side of the bed and hoisted half of the sleeping turian's weight on to her shoulder. She looked at Winters and said, "Please don't call me ma'am."

"Sorry, m-."

Nevara squinted at him.

"Sorry, Commander."

"There's nothing to be sorry about. Are you ready?"

"Yes."

They dragged the turian towards the room. Guarding it were two of the marines. They were almost asleep, standing in front of the door. Nevara cleared her throat. The sound made the marines jump awake with their eyes wide open.

"Sorry, Commander." Tennant apologized, saluting.

"At ease. It's no big deal. We're all tired." Nevara said, adjusting the weight of the sleeping turian. "We're putting him to bed."

"Alright, Commander." Marsters yawned.

"Are they behaving?"

"We haven't heard anything and we checked on them twice already." Tennant told Shepard.

They opened the door and the four walked in to the room. Garrus and Nihlus were sound asleep on opposite sides of the room. The bed remained untouched. They laid Liliandaz on the bed. He groaned at the jostling and fell back into his deep sleep. The four slowly backed out of the room, so as not to wake any of them up. They were all exhausted and none of them were up for a fight.

Once the door was closed, Shepard gave the guards their orders.

"You'll be on guard until 0900. After that you can shower, eat and get some rest. I'll be turning in for the next couple of hours. If anything happens, wake me immediately."

"Aye, aye, Commander." The two said in unison.

Nevara and Winters walked back to the medbay. They stopped at the opened door.

"You should get some rest as well."

"Affirmative, Commander." Winters said, looking at the door blocking the turians.

"Don't worry about them. You'll be fine. Just rest. I'll see you in a little while." Nevara assured him.

Winters smiled and nodded. Shepard's assurances gave him little solace, but he continued into the room and closed the door behind him. Nevara stood for a second looking at the door holding the sleeping turians within. _I am in way over my head. What am I going to tell them? How am I going to do it?_

"Good night, guys." Nevara said walking back to her room.


	6. Chapter 6

0900 Zulu 12.11.2184

Forty-five minutes of sleep never felt more acceptable for Commander Shepard. The overly long night and getting everyone settled in just came with the job. Nevara sat in the mess reading from a datapad on the table. The lit cigarette jutted from her mouth as she thought about what she was going to say. There was no good way to go about it, but she knew it wasn't going to be like pulling off a band-aid. She took the final drag off the cigarette before extinguishing it on the floor and sliding the butt in her back pocket.

Nevara had let the guards go to bed and she was alone in the room. There wasn't a sound around her. She continued reading from the datapad. It had awoken her when her message came in. All it gave was a date and time. 15.11.2184. 0300 Zulu. _That's a shorter amount of time then I thought it was going to take._ If she was going to tell them, she'd have to tell them fast. Nevara took a sip of coffee and sighed as she enjoyed the hot liquid going down her throat. She'd learned from the last time not to forgo the coffee for extended missions.

She walked back to her room and threw the pad on the bed. She waited for the groaning of the coming dawn to emerge from the closed doors she walked passed. Nevara got on the elevator and made her way for the entrance. She wanted to see what was going on. The bombing that weakly rattled their post had stopped hours ago, but the fighting had continued. When she slid the lid from its holdings, she peeked out to see if anyone was around. Clutching her sidearm quickly, she slithered out of the hole and walked down to the beach.

The rain still fell and the skies were densely covered by black clouds. The sun had difficulty breaking through with its light. It did give a very eerie red glow to the surface. It looked like dusk and it was humid. The smell of death and fire wreaked the air. The strong ocean breeze couldn't cover the taint of it. It seeped into every pore and stained Nevara's BDUs with its violent aroma. Gunfire was still heard in the distance, but it concerned her little. She looked around, waiting for someone to notice her, but no one came. _At last, some peace._

Feeling the ice cold water with her hands, she thought about everything that had been going on. The confirmation of Garrus, Nihlus and his incessant ranting, Kaidan's berating. _I never thought he'd grow a spine. _Nevara chuckled to herself about how Kaidan's behavior had changed. If he was anyone else, she would have put him back in his place before he'd even opened his mouth. He'd reminded her of Xavier, the openness they'd shared. She couldn't be open with Kaidan. Not about this, not this time.

From behind her, Nevara heard the crunching of leaves. She quickly turned and pointed her gun in the direction she'd heard the noise from. Ashley was standing near the entrance, shocked at the situation she'd put herself in. Nevara lowered her gun and walked up to Ashley, while fixing her hair.

"What is it, Chief?" Shepard asked, combing her fingers through her locks.

"We have a situation, Commander. The turians are fighting and we don't know how to stop it." Ashley said, disgruntled by being woken up by the situation.

"Is anyone hurt?" Nevara asked.

"No, Commander. We were hoping you could calm things down." Ashley stated.

"Do I need to hold everyone's hand?" Nevara asked under her breath.

"Commander, we really need you."

"What are you six? You can't handle two turians."

"Well, the reason we want you to come down and take care of it, is because that one turian, Garrus, is asking for you."

"Did he say what he wanted?"

"No, that's what got the other turian all huffy."

"Alright, I'll deal with it. Tell Kaidan to get up and be ready." Nevara ordered as she made her way back down the steel ladder.

"He's already up. The noise has woken everyone up." Ashley said, following Shepard down.

Shepard frowned as they got on the elevator. Her peaceful morning was interrupted, which always happened when she'd found that little bit of peace. When they got off the elevator, Kaidan was waiting with the rest of the marines. Each one looked more tired than the last. The noise coming from beyond the hall, reverberated with the cursing and ruckus going on. She looked at Tennant and Marsters and told them to go back to bed. They looked at each other and proceeded back into their room.

Winters was standing at the end of the hall, rubbing the last of his exhaustion from his eyes. Nevara smiled at him. The baby of the group, smiled back and stood at attention when she stopped in front of him.

"I need you alert in case one of them needs to be fixed."

"Understood, Commander." Winters said, yawning beyond his control.

"Kaidan, I want you covering me in case they get too persnickety."

"I will, Shepard." Kaidan said.

They stopped in front of the door for a second to listen to what they were talking about. Everything became hushed whispers and the third voice of Liliandaz carried over the din. Just as Nevara went to unlock the door a crashing sound came from within the room. She unlocked the door and what befell the two marines came as nothing but an utterance of annoyance.

Liliandaz had worked his way to the edge of the bed and was trying to get up. The table and chairs were splintered pieces of wood now. In one corner stood Nihlus, panting heavily and bleeding from one of his mandibles. Nevara took a step into the room and shook her head. She knew that Garrus was standing behind her. His breathing was just as heavy, if not more, than Nihlus's. Nihlus took a step towards Shepard and she pointed behind her towards Kaidan. He looked at him and backed down slowly.

There was instant silence in the room. The three turians watched as Nevara took out a cigarette and waited before saying anything.

"Are you three idiots done?" She asked, lighting the cigarette. She looked at Nihlus, dead in the eyes.

"No, I'm not. I haven't gotten to you yet." Nihlus responded. His mandible quivered with rage.

"Don't touch her." Garrus snapped back.

"Oh and what are you going to do about it. Traitor." Nihlus prodded.

"Enough!" Shepard yelled. "If it hasn't occurred to you yet, I'm not scared of you. I also know for a fact that Kaidan, here, isn't afraid of you either. So I suggest you shut up and calm the fuck down."

"Whore." Nihlus muttered.

Kaidan went to rush into the room, but was stopped by Nevara throwing her arm in front of him to block him. She turned and shook her head trying to keep the already tense situation from becoming worse. Kaidan straightened up and took a step back. Shepard could handle this without him running to her rescue over a word.

"Keep it up." Nevara smiled, unfazed by the turian looking at her. "Kaidan, get Winters and tell them we have some injuries that need to be checked out. Get Ashley to help you and find some better accommodations for our guests. If he acts up, shoot him."

Kaidan nodded and called for Ashley. She came running to them and stopped. Her eyes were wide at the destruction that had taken place in the small room. They walked passed Shepard and grabbed Nihlus cuffing him before moving him. He fought them the whole time, in the midst of the struggle Kaidan yelled out in pain. Nevara walked up in a calm fashion and elbowed Nihlus in the gut as hard as she could. Nihlus fell to his knees, coughing and threatening Nevara. With him distracted, Ashley and Kaidan, clasped the last cuff around his wrist. They pulled him up to drag him out of the room. Nevara stood there, unflinching at the turian staring her down.

"Hold on." She told Kaidan and Ashley. She leaned in to Nihlus and whispered, "That was a warning, Nihlus. Next time it's a bullet."

Nihlus looked at her; a hollow black emptiness filled his eyes. Nevara stepped aside, allowing the two marines to drag the turian out of the room. Finally, she turned to Garrus who was just in awe at how she'd handled herself. She examined him with glances before walking out of the room and into the hall. Winters was still there waiting to be beckoned.

"He's injured. Could you check him?" She asked before following Alenko to Nihlus's new room.

Kaidan and Ashley never walked into the room. They pushed Nihlus into the room and were waiting for Shepard to lock the door. She walked up, locked it and then grabbed Kaidan's arm. A long, deep gash went across his forearm. Nevara bit her lip and then looked at Kaidan closely.

"Go get checked out by medical."

"Planned on it, Commander." Kaidan grimaced.

Nevara walked back to the room to see how Winters was doing with his assessment. He was about to start applying a thick slathering of medi-gel across several cuts that were dug across Garrus's torso, when he stopped and looked at Shepard.

"How's he doing?" She asked, cocking her head.

"They're mostly superficial wounds. I was going to apply some medi-gel to stave off infection-"

"It's alright. I'll take care of it." Nevara chirped. "Just take Lilianaz to medical for a checkup and Kaidan needs to be mended up too."

"I will Commander." Winters answered getting up.

He walked over to Liliandaz, who said nothing to him, and slowly hobbled out the door, using Winters as a crutch. When she knew they were alone, Nevara closed and locked the door. Garrus never moved from the bed as Nevara walked over to him and sat on her knees taking Winters's position as medic.

She examined the cuts and gashes across his body. There were so many more scars than the last time she'd seen him. Even the scar she'd created was still very prominent. She opened the medi-gel and grabbed the gloves that Winters had left on the bed. Pouring the sour smelling, clear liquid into her hands she slowly applied the ointment across the red wounds. Garrus snorted and Nevara stopped midswipe with a worried look.

"How ironic." He chuckled.

"What is?" Nevara asked, continuing to spread the medi-gel on.

"You, me, together, and you fixing me up."

"What of it?"

"I just find it amusing, is all. How have you been?"

"Quit the act, Garrus. I'm fixing you up and that's all." Nevara snapped.

"Is there something wrong with a little conversation?"

"There is when I'm talking to a liar." Nevara said, standing up and removing the gloves from her hands.

"I know, I know. This isn't how I wanted to see you again."

Nevara set the table upright and sat on top of it, letting her legs hang off the side. She tucked her hair behind her ear and sighed. If she had anything to say, now was the time to say it.

"Really? This isn't how I wanted to see you either."

"What do you want me to say, Nevara? I know there isn't much I can say that you'd believe."

"You're damn right there isn't anything you could say that would make me trust you. Not again."

"Nevara, you have to let me explain."

"Explain what? How do you justify doing what you did? What you did to those people, my home, to me-" Nevara yelled, trying to control herself.

Garrus hung his head, ashamed of what had befallen them. He fell to his knees and looked up at her.

"It wasn't me."

"Oh, great. Another lie." Nevara grumbled, hopping off the table.

"No, Nevara, listen to me." Garrus begged, reaching for her hand.

"Ha. Why should I? You know everything there is to know about me and I find out the worst thing there is to know about you and not from you."

"It wasn't me. Please, just give me a minute and I'll tell you what happened."

"I can't Garrus. I can't deal with this. You used me to get on your side and this is what I get."

"I didn't use you. I really meant what I said on Helyme. I know I should have told you, but I had a job to do too. You know in our line of work, emotions meddle up the job."

"You're telling me that. I know personally, remember."

"Xavier, yeah. I read your report. It was plain as day as to what your relationship was with him."

"So then why let it get personal?"

"Because it was personal before I found you."

"Well that was a mistake on your part then wasn't it?"

"No, I wouldn't change a thing with you. The time I spent with you was the most intense fulfilling time that I'd ever had."

Nevara looked at the door and pulled away. She unlocked the door and stopped.

"They'll be here in three days to get us. After that, I'm done. I can't do this anymore. I don't need any more surprises."

"If you're sure."

Nevara nodded. She wiped her eyes and opened the door.

"I need to check on everyone. I'll be back later to hear what you have to say."

"I'll be here. It's not like I can do anything about it." Garrus chuckled.

Nevara closed the door behind her, leaving it unlocked. The hallway was empty and the only noise came from the chatter emanating from the mess. She walked in and spied Kaidan and Ashley talking and eating. Nevara sat down and looked at Kaidan's arm.

"How is it?" Nevara asked, pointing at his bandaged forearm.

"It's fine. Winters did a good job. How's the turian?"

"Superficial."

"Personality or wounds?" Ashley chortled.

"Couldn't tell." Nevara answered quietly.

_He seemed genuine. But what do I know? Obviously not a whole lot._


	7. Chapter 7

0300 Zulu 13.11.2184

Time was moving so slowly for Nevara. She stared at the ceiling of her room waiting for time to pass her by. She had avoided Garrus the rest of the previous day after their talk. She didn't want to know what he had to say. The hole he'd dug for himself, she couldn't save him from. What he had said to her made her think most of the day. She was a vague shadow of her usual self. Inside she was dead, on the outside she carried herself with a cool calm coupled by sporadic bouts of anger.

Nevara rolled off the bed and walked out of the room. Her bare feet were silent amongst the many familiar noises coming from the rooms. Some snoring, others talking. She enjoyed how the relaxation had fallen over every one once she'd told them that it would be a couple of days till they would be off this damn planet. Replaying every moment she'd saved in her mind, she stopped in front of the room. The room that held all the answers for her. If she was going in, she'd have to get passed the guards, but they wouldn't be a problem.

Again, Tennant and Marsters were on duty. They stopped when they noticed her and saluted. Nevara smiled and faked unlocking the door. "I'll be a minute," was all she said before closing the door and locking it behind her.

The room was dark, as dark as the inner confines that had once held her. She felt her way around the room, feeling for the table that she'd used the day before. Following the cold walls, she traced her way to the table. It had been moved to the far corner of the room. Slowly mounting it, she sat and lit a cigarette. The slow purr of the turian sleeping gave her little comfort. _What am I doing here? _She sat cross-legged waiting for the chance to speak up. Her eyes grew heavy and she yawned. Resting her chin on her hand, she took a drag from her cigarette. The glowing red cherry burnt brightly in front of her.

"I knew you'd come back." A whisper came from across the room.

"I told you I would." Nevara smiled into the dark.

"How long have you been there?" The voice asked, becoming stronger.

"Not long. Seems familiar, doesn't it?" Nevara asked, waving her hands in the dark.

"Oddly enough. Brings back memories."

"The dark?"

"The dark, you, regret-" The voice was now on top of her.

Nevara slid back and waited. If this was going to be a reenactment of their last night together, she didn't want any part of it. Her muscles became tense when the cold rough skin rubbed against her leg.

"I just came to talk." Nevara grumbled. She pushed off the intrusion with her hand and tucked her legs up under her.

"You want to talk now?" Garrus purred.

"It's not like I have anything better to do. I can't sleep." Nevara said.

"Well, you know I was in the middle of sleeping. But if that's what you want, I'm sure we can work something out." Garrus sighed as he walked away from Nevara. "So, is this going to be an interrogation?"

"What did you mean when we talked last? You said you didn't do it." Nevara started, sliding back towards the front edge of the table.

There was a long silence in the room. Nevara mustered up all the courage she could to turn on the lights. If he knew where she was, then he could obviously find her in the dark. Her omni-tool lit up and she went to push the lights on, but felt her hand being smacked away.

"No, not in the light. Just like this." Nevara heard to her left.

"Where are you?" She asked looking around her. Her heartbeat quickened in a panic. She was at a very large disadvantage.

"In the chair right next to you. Did I scare you?" Garrus asked, placing his hand on her thigh.

"No. Well, not really." Nevara answered, calming slightly.

"You don't have to be scared of me, Nevara." Garrus said, squeezing her thigh gently.

"Why don't I have to be? You're a mass murderer." Nevara mumbled.

"That's what you came to talk about? Why now?"

"Don't I have a right to know? What the hell happened?"

"It's a long story." Garrus stated with a sigh.

"Humor me then. I have time and you have even less." Nevara huffed.

"Do you remember what you told me about the dark?" Garrus asked.

"Don't change the subject. Just tell me what happened, from the beginning."

Another long silence filled the room. Garrus didn't know where the beginning of the story began. There were so many interwoven threads that had led them to this point. For all intensive purposes, he had no real reason for being here. He'd been questioning himself about it since he found out Nevara was coming. The only reason that Nevara would know about Mindoir, is if someone had leaked it to the Alliance. His heart filled with dread at the thought that he was going to be the scapegoat for the Resistance. If he was, then Nevara was at risk too.

"The beginning?" Garrus croaked.

"Yes, the beginning." Nevara snapped.

She hadn't removed his hand from her leg and he was still holding what little comfort that gesture or lack thereof had presented to him.

"The destruction of Mindoir wasn't my fault. Not in the sense that I wasn't there, but the fact that I wasn't the mastermind behind the plan. Before the war I worked in C-Sec as an investigator. When the war broke out, I was called back to active duty. My first mission was the attack on Mindoir. The only orders I was given were to erase it from the map."

Nevara shook with anger. Finally the honesty that she'd been so desperately looking to achieve had fallen in her lap. Garrus, on the other hand, grew quiet pondering where to go from there.

"I followed my orders like I was supposed to. The same way I know, for a fact that you have carried out plans that you didn't agree with. I wasn't working with the Resistance force before that. I hadn't even heard that there was such a group. I feel horrible about what happened. I truly do and those memories still haunt me to this day."

"What did you do about it?" Nevara asked.

"After the mission I went to my immediate superiors and told them what I thought about their policies on rules of engagement. I didn't like being called a mass murderer on the vids or the fact that there was a bounty out on me. The military didn't care, I was expendable. After the dust settled I was noticed by some officials working with the Resistance. I was supposed to be- what's that human expression? Incognito?"

Garrus stopped when he heard giggling coming from Nevara. He smiled to himself at the sound of the soft sound trickling from her. He cleared his throat, and Shepard's sound slowly ebbed off. As much as he didn't want her enjoyment to end, he knew that what he had to say was important and not to be trifled with.

"Captain Anderson had heard about what was going on within the ranks of the turian military. People that had mustered out once getting their citizenship and moved to the private sector were not happy with what was going on. He was already working with the Resistance via Alliance channels. He put in a good word with them for me."

"Wait, Anderson knew it was you?" Nevara asked, cutting him off. _Son of a bitch. _

"I'm sure he told you about how he got us together."

"He kind of glossed over a lot of what went on behind the scenes, but yes."

"Anderson and I had a history before the war started, of course. Before I left the turian military, I worked with another turian for a brief while. Anderson and he had a less than amicable relationship in the past. Once I was out of the military, I'd kept tabs on him, because of his past dealings with some really seedy people on the Citadel. Do you know a turian by the name of Saren?"

"No, I've never heard of him." Nevara answered, shaking her head at the dark.

"Once I had joined the ranks of the Resistance, Anderson and I were first tasked with neutralizing Saren. It was a black-ops mission, strictly off the books. There are no records to this day about what transpired, but needless to say he's dead. The irony of it all, as much as I hate to admit it, is that he was the immediate superior that I had gone to after Mindoir. He'd masterminded the whole plan. It was one of those, the enemy of my enemy moments."

"So, you worked with Saren in the attack on Mindoir, joined the Resistance, and then executed him?"

"It had to be done. As much as the brass in the military thought it was a major victory for us, we'd learned after the Relay 314 incident that humans are an unstoppable juggernaut. What happened with the Primarch just fueled the fire that was already burning."

"Well if Anderson needed someone to do the dirty work for him, why choose me?"

"Because, Nevara, you of all the people he'd known under him, he could trust."

"I don't know who to trust anymore. Anderson warned me about this before I got here."

"Take his warning seriously. Whatever he told you had to have some bearing on this mission. Hopefully he's wrong, but nowadays, I wouldn't count on it."

"Thanks for the reassurance." Nevara smirked, shoving Garrus's shoulder.

"I'm serious. I'm not in this position by accident. After I left Helyme I was ordered to maintain this post, indefinitely. I thought it was a little strange that after everything that's I had done with the military and the Resistance that I wouldn't be put back in the field. Those were the terms of my joining them. The Saren debacle was just a gift."

Nevara yawned again and slid off the table. Garrus stood up and lifted her chin to look at him. Even in the black void, the electricity between them made their eyes lock. There were no words that could be said in those moments. Nevara's heart sped up again. It rang in her ears and throbbed in her skull. She could feel his breath on her cheek and the sound of him inhaling her very human smell.

"I really did miss these moments." Garrus whispered in her ear.

"I did too, but I need time to process this, Garrus. I'm sorry." Shepard whispered back.

"I am too." Garrus responded.

He respected her decision to not act in the moment. It was a lot to take in all at once. He didn't expect her to just shrug it off and throw herself at him. Nevara was a thinker and she didn't do anything without considering the cause and effect of everything first. Even if that meant the risks were great and the consequences were even greater.

Nevara slowly walked away from Garrus, lingering just enough to let him feel her longings. She had missed him more than anything. Her decisions about their relationship hung in the balance. She didn't know if she wanted a relationship after this. She'd given up so much from her pining for Garrus. If she didn't think about it carefully, they would all be doomed because of her damned heart.

"I'll come back later, when I've figured everything out." Nevara said, opening the door.

_If you looked in the dictionary under indecisiveness you'd see me._


	8. Chapter 8

0800 Zulu 13.11.2184

Nevara awoke with a start. An alarm beeped to tell her that a message had come in from the Alliance. Nevara looked at the time and groaned. She'd overslept and she didn't want to read what the message had to say. _Probably just a reminder that they're coming to get us. _She dressed quickly and walked out of the room tucking her laces into her boots.

She walked into the mess area and saw everyone eating and talking about what they were going to do when they got back to Alliance space. Kaidan smiled and waved Nevara over, lifting a coffee cup to her. Nevara smiled and walked over. She sat down and graciously accepted the black gold with open hands. She took a sip and sighed. _Another long night over and one more left to deal with._

"Long night?" Kaidan asked.

"Very." Nevara answered putting the cup to her lips.

"Tennant and Marsters said you went to see Commander Vakarian early this morning." Kaidan said, lifting one eye brow.

Nevara choked on the coffee and coughed violently. Now she was being talked about between the ones she was leading. Nevara nodded and cleared her throat.

"I did." Nevara acknowledged.

"Is he still alive?" Ashley asked sitting down.

"He is." Nevara grumbled, never looking at the intrusion that sat with a disappointed look on her face.

"Did he say anything useful?" Kaidan continued questioning.

"Nothing really pertaining to Mindoir." Nevara shook her head.

"I'm sorry, Shepard." Kaidan said, leaning into Nevara. "I have no idea how this must be going for you. What do you plan on doing about him?"

"I gave him a choice. He either tells me everything or I'll let the investigators deal with him. Either way, he'll be out of my hair. I'll go back in later after I'm done with my liquid breakfast." Nevara lied, lifting her cup with a smile.

"Good luck with that, Commander." Ashley said, getting up from the table. "If you'll excuse me, Commander, I've got weapons to maintain. You can never be too careful."

"Sure, sure. Have fun with that." Nevara answered.

Nevara sat for a little bit, slowly sipping her coffee. The conversation was over between Kaidan and her. There was nothing else really to talk about. Her mind was befuddled by what Garrus had told her. If he really was in trouble, then she didn't know what to do. Her association with him didn't help her case either.

_He did it, but was following orders. I've been in the same situation as him. Many an order that I'd been given could have resulted in what he's going through. Yes, he destroyed my home. Yes, he has done the wrong thing, beyond his control. But homes can be rebuilt, I've seen it before. I've done the wrong things too, nobody is perfect. I've killed people accidently and on purpose. We've both got to live with that. We're in the same boat. I have no right to judge._

Kaidan cleared his throat, breaking Nevara's concentration. He stared at her for a long moment. His brown eyes were tired. He exhaled and frowned.

"Shepard, are you alright?" Kaidan finally asked.

"I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?"

"You just seem a little lost."

"No, I'm good. I feel content." Nevara grinned.

"Really? Care to explain?" Kaidan smirked with a hollow enthusiasm.

"I've realized something about myself. A little self-exploration never hurt before, right?" Nevara chuckled.

"That's great! What have you found out?" Kaidan inquired.

"Everything that's been going on from start to finish happens for a reason. The good, the bad, hatred, love, everything. You can't stop it or ward it off if you wanted to."

"That's all? What does that have to do with self-exploration?" Kaidan asked, furrowing his brow.

"I've tried so hard to be the best at my job and I've accomplished much. But what do I have to really show for it? My job consumes every aspect of my life. I've always been so concerned about my career that I've forgotten the most basic forms and applications that make life great." Nevara chimed.

"You always were the type of person who loved paperwork. Are you requisitioning some trust?" Kaidan stifled a laugh.

"You know what I mean. I've lived so much and missed out on some of the sweeter things in life. I've lost sight of perspective. I still have plenty of time to do the things I want. Maybe when this is all over I could actually take some of that vigor that I put into my job and work on my personal life."

"Coming from you Commander, that's pretty shocking. You were never truly a 'me' person. You've always sacrificed yourself for the betterment of others and I agree that you shouldn't become blind to the prospect of letting people get close to you."

"I've never been blind to the prospects of others Kaidan. Shepard corrected. "Most just find me intimidating once they find out who I am."

"You just have a strong personality. You don't take shit from anyone and a lot of guys would be intimidated by your independent nature."

"Kaidan, how long have we known each other?" Nevara asked.

"A few years more or less. They've been an interesting few years, but being in your squad always seems to come with some surprises." Kaidan chuckled.

"Well, it's good to know that you find our adventures so worthwhile." Nevara jabbed back.

"Shepard, whatever choices you've made are not for me to judge. The choices that are upcoming for you-"

"Are still not something you can judge me for." Nevara interrupted. Her demeanor changed at the idea of Kaidan, of all people, judging her for her decisions.

"Just be careful."

"Yes, Dad." Nevara said, sticking her tongue out at him.

"If you know what you're doing, then I wish you the very best. Have a good time finding what you want." Kaidan smiled.

"Well, thanks Kaidan." Nevara said, patting him on the shoulder.

She stood up to leave when Kaidan asked, "So what are you looking for, personally?"

Nevara turned to him and answered, "Completion."

Kaidan gave her a confused look and sighed. Nevara left the mess area and walked down the hall, coffee cup still in hand. She could hear Ashley clicking slides and pulling triggers as she worked. Winters was talking to Dillon, in the med lab about baseball and how he couldn't wait to sit in on a game once he got back home. She continued on to Garrus's door and knocked. On the other side, came the sound of scurrying around and a repetitive line of 'hold on's coming in rapid succession. She waited a moment and opened the door.

Garrus stood there moon-eyed for a second. When he realized that it was Shepard standing there, he smiled and waved her in. Nevara looked around and stepped in. Garrus continued making the bed and watching Nevara. She took a drink and set the cup down on the table. Garrus stopped working and stood up. Nevara was trying to light her cigarette, but her lighter just flickered out every time she tried. He walked up to her and took her lighter. He fiddled with it for a second, shaking it next to his ear and then handing it back to her more perplexed than ever.

"Well aren't you helpful?" Nevara snorted, returning back to the task of lighting her cigarette. She flicked it a couple more times and it lit strongly, almost lighting her hair on fire. She pulled the lighter away from her face and lit her cigarette. She inhaled the hot smoke and let out a slow stream of smoke, before sitting on the corner of the bed. She patted the spot next to her and he sat more out of a desire to be near her and not because she asked.

"So what have you been up to this fine morning?" Garrus asked in a sing-song voice.

Nevara wrinkled her nose and flicked the ash of her cigarette.

"Nothing really, just sleeping in- not by choice, I assure you and thinking." Nevara frowned.

"Well haven't we been busy?" Garrus prodded, nudging Nevara's shoulder with his.

"Not really. There isn't much to do around here. Reports are filed, guns are cleaned. I will not let Ashley touch mine. I know she's fully capable of doing a reasonable job, but no one messes with my guns." Nevara snorted in self-amusement.

"You seem to be in a better mood. What's changed?"

"Nothing's changed. I'm still hurt. But like all things, it'll pass and fade away. I've lived with worse things, obviously."

"So then why come by?" Garrus asked, bewildered by Nevara's answer.

"Company. I thought you could use some."

"Are you sure it's not you that needs said company?" Garrus implored, brushing aside the locks of hair that had fallen into Shepard's face.

Nevara looked at him and squinted.

"If I needed company, do you really think I would come to you for it? I mean let's be honest; there are plenty of people I could talk to." Nevara spoke in a matter of fact tone.

"But you came to me still." Garrus whispered.

"I did." Nevara acknowledged.

Garrus put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her close. He smelled her essence. It was still like he'd remembered. It was fragrant. Hints of cloves and cherries tinted in her red hair. He nuzzled her cheek and sighed.

"I'm glad you did. I actually wanted to ask you something."

"What is it?" Nevara asked never looking at the turian who had started unbuttoning her jacket.

"It's a small thing, nothing really to be concerned about."

"Then just ask." Nevara quipped, letting him pull her jacket off.

"Has there been anyone since, um, us?" Garrus asked, looking at her in fear.

_What a blindsiding question_. Nevara whipped her head at him and stared. She was hurt. Instantly wounded by the question. There had been no one since him. She couldn't bring herself to do it again. Nevara cocked her head and shook him off.

"What the fuck kind of question is that?" Nevara cross-examined.

"I just wanted to know. I'm slowly undressing you and if you did have someone at home I would stop. I don't know too much about human relationships and courtship, but if your preference led you to not let me do what I'm doing, then I would understand." Garrus said, hurt by Nevara's tone.

"There's no one. I haven't-" Nevara sighed at her answer. "What about you?"

"I couldn't. I tried to move on. I held out little hope that I'd see you after I got back to Palaven. So much was going on there. My dad tried to set me up with one of his friend's daughters but she wasn't my type. She hated humans, thought they were indignant little bastards."

"I thought you were going to say she wasn't me." Nevara smirked.

"That was pretty much the crux of why I couldn't be with her. She wasn't you."

"Feel better?" Nevara giggled.

"No. Not until I finish what I started." Garrus purred, sliding the strap of her tank top down. He looked at the scars on her shoulder and smiled. Such wonderful times they had had. "They healed well."

"Of course they did. You fixed me up pretty well." Nevara snorted, sliding the other strap down over her shoulder.

"Do you realize what we're doing here?" Garrus paused. "I'm undressing you and there are how many people here that could come in at anytime."

"There are six others." Nevara stated getting up from the bed and locking the door. "There it's locked and encrypted. Satisfied?"

"I will be in a moment." Garrus grinned as he scanned her torso. Her body looked so good time him and he wanted to take her right there.

"We'll just have to be quiet. I don't know when the guards will be coming to give you your lunch." Nevara warned.

"Are you sure you want to do this, after everything?" Garrus asked.

"Why wouldn't I? Like I said, I haven't got anything else to do." Nevara snickered.

"Or anyone else." Garrus replied.

He rose from the bed and turned out the light. So much time had passed for them that his concern over his excitement scared him. He didn't want to hurt her not anymore than he'd already done. He led her to the bed and laid her down. Releasing himself from his confining clothing he caressed her breasts. Her small button like nipples became slowly erect as he slid his digit across them. Nevara moaned silently as he licked around first one and then the other.

His hand continued its trek down her firm abdomen, ripping away the rolled tank top around her waist. Nevara lifted her head in protest, but gave up when his rough tongue slithered down between her breasts towards her navel. With hurried hands she unclasped her belt and started to unbutton her pants. Garrus grabbed her hands and forced them over her head. Nevara squealed and Garrus looked at her.

"Don't you move your hands." Garrus ordered with a lustful growl. He released his grip around her wrists and proceeded to start work on the pesky button that was blocking him from her. He had nimble fingers but they weren't nimble enough to break the release holding them shut. His mouth went further down and bit down on the button, breaking the threads. He spit the button out and snickered to himself.

Nevara kicked her boots off and let him slide her pants off. Slowly lifting her hips up as he pulled them down his palms squeezed the taut flesh of her buttocks. Lying there nude together, they paused, enjoying the thought of what was to come. Garrus traced his talon over Nevara's thigh causing the skin to goosepimple under his touch. He smiled again and began coating it with a thin coat of saliva. Nevara moaned again, waiting in anticipation for the inevitable pain. He spread her legs, continuing to let his fingers explore her.

"I'm going to try something. If this hurts tell me." Garrus said. Before Nevara could respond, he slid his finger into her, feeling the moist velvety tissue envelope his digit. Slowly feeling his way through her he found even more textures. He flexed his finger a little and the walls closed in on his talon. Nevara gasped. He continued rubbing the spot making Nevara's body tremble. The faster he moved the quicker her pace went. She panted feeling her climax building. Nevara started pushing her way up the bed trying to retreat from the overwhelming stimulation she was receiving. Garrus pursued her, letting the hot wetness seep onto his palm. Nevara's muscles shook violently. Tears of rapture spilled, running down the sides of her face.

He extracted his finger from her and slowly went to mount her. Her cool skin, beaded with clean perspiration felt delightful against his. Slowly, he slid in, feeling her skin pull and tear around him. It was just as she remembered. Nevara went to cry out and clenched her throat shut making the noise sound like a gurgle. Pushing himself on to his hands he slowly started sliding in and out of her. Nevara rocked back and forth letting him fully penetrate the depths of her. Her body relaxed once he was fully accommodated.

The repetitive rhythm of intercourse took control. Her hips met his in a paired union. Garrus's breathing was ragged feeling each orgasm she gave way to made him come closer to the verge of his own. Her body shook and she continued to cry as she felt him pulsate within her. He kissed her hard, sending him into his own climax. Deep in his throat a deep, guttural growl filled the room. Nevara gasped as he filled her. An explosion of supernovas filled her line of vision. She clenched her eyes shut, waiting for her head to return to normal.

Their breathing, barely slowing, quietly echoed within the four walls of the room. Nevara began laughing, it hinted of sheer pleasure. The bubbly sound of her laugh turned to silent sobs. Garrus propped himself up on his elbow and turned her to face him. She couldn't control it; it just flowed through her knowing no bounds.

"Are you alright?" Garrus asked, his voice full of concern.

"Yes." Nevara choked out.

"What's wrong? Did I hurt you?" Garrus probed more. He couldn't understand why such a wonderful experience would cause her to cry.

"No. I'm fine. I just-. I can't go through this again."

"What do you mean?" Garrus implored.

"You'll be leaving soon. It happens every time."

"Shh. Remember what I told you before you left?"

"There's always the possibility?"

"Right. I honestly don't know what's to come next, but whatever it is, it can't be as bad as watching you leave again."

"You're right." Nevara agreed. "We better get dressed before they get suspicious."

Nevara turned on the lights to get a bearing on where her clothes were. Grabbing her torn and tattered articles she pulled each piece on. Garrus watched her all the while lying on the bed. His smile was a mix of excitement and glee. Every time Shepard went to pull on some torn piece of clothing she scowled, scrunched up her face in annoyance.

"Cute." Garrus commented.

"Not really. I've run out of more clothes dealing with you than all my other missions." Nevara grumbled.

Garrus laughed as he got out of bed. Grabbing his own clothing he sat and pulled on the thin fabric. They stopped and looked at each other for a long moment. Lost in each other's gaze. If time had frozen in that moment, it would have taken a life shattering event to end it. They both smiled at the deviant nature of their act. It was a moment to share between them.

"Lunch!" A voice called from the other side of the door.

"They're early." Garrus commented.

"Maybe they just wanted to get it out of the way." Nevara stated, making her way to the door.

"Nevara, I don't know. Something doesn't feel right." Garrus warned.

"Relax, what's the worst that could happen?" Nevara chirped as she unlocked the door.

When Nevara opened the door seven people stood at the door, weapons drawn. Nevara froze. She looked over the faces of all the people she'd come to rely on in the few short days she'd been with them. They were blank, emotionless.

"What the fuck is going on, Kaidan?" Nevara asked, still stunned by the situation.

"I'm sorry, Shepard. I'm under orders." Kaidan answered.

"Who's?" Garrus asked from behind Nevara.

"You'll find out once we get you back to Alliance space." Kaidan stated.

"You are fucking joking, right?" Nevara yelped.

"Sorry, Shepard." Kaidan repeated.

"I bet." Nevara grumbled.

Nevara looked around again. There was no way out of this situation. Anything would end in either one of them being shot. She sighed and looked Kaidan dead in the eye. "I thought you were my friend. After everything we'd been through, you decide to stab me in the back?"

"You stabbed me in the back a long time ago, Commander."

"What the hell did you want me to say?"

"The truth would have been nice."

"Oh, I see what's going on here." Garrus spat. "I should have seen this coming. Nihlus, you were in on this?"

"The government back home wants something done."

"But I killed Saren."

"I know. That's why I took this mission. Payback." Nihlus grinned a devilish grin.

"Garrus, there's nothing we can do about it. We're at a major disadvantage here." Nevara told him never taking her eyes off of Kaidan.

"I know." Garrus grumbled.

"Your omni-tool, Shepard." Kaidan ordered.

Nevara nodded. She gave him the omni-tool with a sigh. She was calm and relaxed.

"Is there anything else?" Nevara asked.

"Two more days, Shepard."

Kaidan closed the door between them. Nevara heard it lock. She banged on the door repeatedly.

"When I get out of here, I swear to God, I'll kill you. All of you!" Nevara yelled.

Garrus walked up behind Nevara and spun her around. He pulled her close to him and held her.

"This is my fault. I'm sorry." Garrus whispered. He kissed the top of her forehead.

"No, it's not. Someone else is pulling the strings in this. We'll just have to wait to find out whom." Nevara said walking back to the bed and flopping across it.

Garrus knelt at the edge of the bed and sighed. "Two days."

"Yeah, two days." Nevara agreed.

"It'll be an interesting two days." Garrus smirked, patting her on the head.

_To betray: __to deliver or expose to an enemy by treachery or disloyalty. We are so screwed._


	9. Chapter 9

Nevara sat on the bed, propped up against the wall. She stared at the door intensely grumbling all the while. She looked down at Garrus, who had fallen asleep next to her, his arm draped over her lap. She smiled. _At least I'm not in lockdown alone._ "I'm so sorry, Garrus." She breathed, sliding out from under his arm. He turned over and crinkled up on the bed. Nevara walked over to the door and slid her hands around the seams of the door.

"Tennant? I know you're out there and can hear me. I want to talk to Kaidan." Nevara called.

"They're not going to listen." Garrus spoke, rubbing his eyes.

"Thanks Mr. Pessimist." Nevara snorted. Her unappreciative tone came out so strongly that she closed her eyes and sighed.

"I'm just saying. They have us now, there's no point in them coming in here but to make our lives miserable." Garrus stated. His mandibles were slack drawn. "I don't know what you plan to accomplish by talking to him. It seems he's already made his decision."

"I'm no one's prisoner." Nevara snapped as she continued to bang on the door.

"You were mine." Garrus purred, rubbing Nevara's shoulders.

"See where that got us. Up shit creek without a paddle." Nevara sulked.

"Well I hope you can swim then." Garrus laughed.

Nevara turned around and wrinkled her nose at his comment. He was right, though. There wasn't much they could do about what was going on, but try and find a way out. She leaned up against the door and looked at the turian smiling down at her.

"This isn't how I wanted things to go." Nevara said. She frowned all the while. Her eyes were as turbulent as they were when they first met.

"You'll think of something, I trust you." Garrus assured her.

"Maybe. I don't know how to get out of something like this. There isn't a training manual for breaking out of your own militaries installation."

"I'm pretty sure there's a reason for that." Garrus giggled.

"You're awfully bubbly right now, given the circumstances." Nevara stated, crossing her arms.

"Why wouldn't I be? I'm locked in a room with you. We're in a dire position right now. Completely outnumbered and definitely outgunned. But still I have the best weapon there is." Garrus smiled.

"Which is?" Nevara asked, confused.

"You. It's always a bad idea to put someone with your personality and will power in a confined little room." Garrus spoke in a calm tone.

"I don't know why you think I'm such a great catch when it comes to getting out of these jams. I stayed locked up until that asshole let me out last time. I didn't expect this to happen. Not like this."

"You're damned if you do and damned if you don't." Garrus sighed and paused. "You've been with this Kaidan person for how long? If you weren't so blinded by anger you would have realized that he was the likely suspect to stab you in the back."

"So it's my fault?" Nevara accused, shoving Garrus away.

"That's not what I meant-"

"Then what the fuck are you saying? You lied! How the hell am I supposed to just go, alright let's go and pretend everything is all hunky-dory? Kaidan? I could see him doing it, but everyone else? Uh-uh." Nevara snapped. Her demeanor was standoffish.

"You are actually going to attempt to defend them. They went behind your back, conspired against you and then locked you up. Why would you even consider that some of them aren't involved? Remember, they all had guns pointed at you!" Garrus scoffed.

"Yeah, well fuck you. I don't need your bullshit." Nevara yelped.

"Is that the best you can come up with? Fuck you? Nevara, you need to open up you damn eyes. Or are all you humans so fucking ignorant to the truth? I understood that humans were pretty stupid, but I expected better from you. Maybe a better dose of common sense." Garrus hissed in a slanderous tone.

"So, the truth comes out." Nevara said, rolling her eyes. "You do hate humans. Well, that's just fucking brilliant isn't it? So now humans are stupid. Well, listen hear, jackass, I don't need some good for nothing turian thinking he's better than me." Nevara spoke, defiant and unresolved.

"I didn't mean it like that. Spirits, Nevara, I just don't want you to think that everything is fine."

"I know that things aren't fine."

"Well then, damn it, start acting like it."

"What the fuck do you want me to do, Garrus?" Nevara implored. Her voice cracked and she turned back to the door.

"I don't want you to do anything. There is nothing that can be done right now. We just don't need to be fighting each other. That's what they want."

Nevara didn't move. She couldn't. One betrayal after another had left her standing alone. She clenched her fists and started banging on the doors repeatedly. Her fists, bloody from cutting her hands on the sharp edges, left imprints and streaks down the door. Garrus grabbed her wrist and spun her around. He pried open her hands and looked at the damage done. Nevara took her free hand and wiped the sweat from her forehead, smearing the blood in a thick, jagged line.

"We need to get you cleaned up." Garrus spoke softly.

"It's not that bad." Nevara said in a matter of factly. She squeezed her hand and let some of the blood drip onto the floor. She watched it hit the ground, splattering into fuzzy circles. Garrus sighed and shook his head in disagreement.

He banged on the door and called out, "We need the medic!"

"We don't need the medic. I'm fine. A little bloodletting never hurt anyone." Nevara snorted.

The door clicked once and opened. Winters stood there with a scared look on his face. Kaidan and Nihlus stood to each side of him. They looked at Nevara and walked in. She was still milking the blood from her hand.

"Things never change, huh?" Kaidan huffed.

"You know me, no pain, no gain." Nevara smirked. She flicked her wrist sending a thin line of blood along the floor.

Winters walked up to Nevara and cleared his throat. He looked her in the eyes. They were the eyes of a person in terror. Whatever they had been doing since she'd been locked up, it wasn't a good thing. 'I'm sorry, Commander.' He mouthed, pulling her hand up so he could examine it closely. After a few moments, he turned to Kaidan and said as calmly as he could, "It's not that bad. A small amount of medi-gel and she should be as good as new."

"Don't waste the medi-gel on this. Just bandage it up and let it alone. Save it for when you actually need it." Nevara spoke as if she was speaking to a child.

"When would that actually be?" Nihlus interjected.

"Probably about the time I slit your throat." Nevara answered.

"You won't get the chance, I'm afraid." Nihlus jabbed.

"We'll see."

"I'm looking forward to it." Nihlus responded. "After I'm done with you, maybe then I can deal with him and our unfinished business."

"Just calm down, Nihlus. There's no point in arguing with her." Kaidan stated, pushing Nihlus away.

Winters grabbed a pack of gauze and started cleaning away the blood. He slowly wrapped her hand. Layers upon layers of gauze left her hand stiff and bulky. Nevara nodded her thanks and Winters smiled. Kaidan looked at Garrus and leered.

"Look at what you've attached yourself to Garrus. She's psychotic."

"It takes a crazy person to live and do what she's done."

"Agreed. But is she worth dying for?" Kaidan asked in a monotone voice.

Nevara and Garrus looked at each other for a second. Something about his posture was off kilter. He cocked his head and looked at Nevara.

"She is beautiful isn't she?" Kaidan asked.

"I wouldn't know." Garrus answered.

"Oh come on Garrus, be a man. You can admit it to me; we're all adults here."

"Kaidan, what are you getting at?" Nevara asked, confused by the odd form of questioning.

"Look at her Garrus. What do you see?" Kaidan seethed with anger.

Garrus looked at her. He didn't know how to answer. If he worded his answer wrong both of them could be hurt. Nevara shook her head in disbelief.

"I don't know what I see." Garrus finally answered.

"Bullshit. I know about you two. The way you look at her. The way she responded when she saw you. I fucking know! It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure it out!" Kaidan yelled.

"Kaidan. Look at me." Nevara said as calmly as she could. Kaidan turned to her. His eyes were filled with an ire she'd never seen before. "You're being irrational."

"Irrational? Irrational! Damn it, Shepard. What the fuck do you know about being irrational?" Kaidan screamed, pacing around the room like a caged animal.

"Calm down. Please, calm down." Nevara begged. "What do you want him to say?"

"I want him to be honest."

Nevara looked over at Winters who was paralyzed with fear. He looked at Kaidan's holster and back at Nevara. She followed his gaze and saw that he was carrying his side arm with him. Bringing a gun into an argument with an irrational person meant that nothing good could from this. She slowly pushed Winters behind her putting herself between the two men. _Just in case_.

"Kaidan, just listen to me. Whatever Nihlus has been telling you, it's a bunch of bullshit." Nevara pleaded.

"Really? Take off your jacket." Nihlus snapped.

Nevara raised her eyebrow and stared. "Are you serious?"

Garrus's mandibles flared with rage. Nevara placed her hand on his arm and squeezed. He looked at her. Her large hazel eyes shimmered. He relaxed a little under her pressure. He started to open his mouth to comment and Nevara stopped him.

"It's alright." Nevara murmured.

"Don't do it." Garrus whispered back.

"Now, Shepard." Kaidan ordered.

"You don't have the right." Garrus barked back.

"Stop. You don't have to defend my honor." Nevara sighed, as she started unbuttoning the top couple buttons of her jacket. She stopped halfway down and waited. It was all the peepshow they were going to see.

"All of it. Take it all off." Nihlus loomed behind Kaidan.

Nevara looked down and saw the five buttons still holding what decency she had left hidden. Slowly, her small fingers unfastened the remaining buttons and pulled her arms out of the jacket one at a time. She covered her breasts with her arm and let the jacket fall to the floor.

"Go look, there's proof written all over her." Nihlus snickered.

Kaidan walked over to Shepard and looked, brushing her hair aside. He looked her over looking at the scars that speckled her shoulder. He ran his fingers across them. Nevara looked at him more wounded by his transgressions that slowly tears streaked down her cheeks. Kaidan turned to Nihlus and nodded. This made the turian smile with a sickening glee.

"Turn her around; there's more." Nihlus commented leaning in the doorway. He looked at Garrus, and sneered. "What do you think, Garrus? Who's in charge now?"

Kaidan turned Nevara around and looked at the various marks and scars that scaled down her back. Claw marks that had torn into her flesh and left perfectly parallel scars, were raised and still bared a red tint. Following the trail down with his hands, he saw the small puncture marks around her hips.

"What have you been doing, Shepard?" Kaidan asked under his breath.

"Those scars, Kaidan, are where we would grip female turians when we mate with them. Her soft skin couldn't handle the violence it takes to fuck one of us." Nihlus explained.

Kaidan got up and spun Nevara around and pushed her to Nihlus, who caught her. He sniffed at her and shoved her back towards Garrus. Garrus caught her and picked up her jacket. He handed it to her and let her get dressed. Nevara wiped her eyes dry and looked at Winters, who had a sickened look on his face. _Oh, not you too_.

"She smells recent though. Garrus, you've been fornicating with the enemy again, haven't you?" Nihlus spat.

Kaidan looked Shepard. "You know, Shepard, you should really check your messages."

"What do you mean?" Nevara asked.

"Your services are no longer needed." Kaidan recited.

"Fuck." Nevara grumbled.

"Big time fuck! Whore." Nihlus chortled. "You see we already knew about what was going on. Now if you don't mind, I'd like to get down to my own business."

"And what business would that be?" Garrus said with a snide tone.

"This kind."

Time slowed to a near stop. Nihlus pulled his side arm and aimed it at Nevara. Searing pain shot through her. The sound of a single gunshot rang out. Its reverberations echoed in her ears. It rang so loudly that any other noise would have been muffled. Heat, unbelievable heat tore into her abdomen. The force of the impact made her lurch forward. Gripping her stomach, she fell to her knees. _Oh, my God, I've been shot. That fucking turian shot me! _

She looked at her hands watching the blood run between her fingers like a sticky water. She looked at Nihlus who was saying something but she couldn't make it out. Everything was becoming hazy. Nevara collapsed backwards into Garrus's arms. She looked at him and tried to feint a smile.

"That son of a bitch shot me." Nevara groaned.

"Hush. Don't say anything." Garrus said in a soothing voice.

Kaidan was up in Nihlus's face yelling. Incoherent words amassed and slowly were pulled apart by a few sporadic moments of clarity. "What… you…? You… shoot her!"

Nihlus laughed and addressed Garrus. "An eye for an eye, brother. A miserable whore's life, for my mentor's." He turned and walked away before Garrus could say anything. He went to jump at the turian, but Kaidan stopped him.

"Don't do anything stupid, Garrus." Kaidan scolded him. He kneeled down, his eyes welling up. "Damn it! It wasn't supposed to go this way. Winters, get Dillon and as much of the medical equipment that you can." He ordered.

"But, Sir, we don't have the equipment or expertise to deal with this type of injury." Winters interjected.

"Just do it! And be quick about it." Kaidan yelled.

"A simple gunshot isn't going to stop me from killing him later." Nevara gurgled. She could taste the blood in the back of her throat now. She looked at Kaidan, her vision fading in and out. "Are you happy now?"

"No, Shepard. I'm not." Kaidan answered, trying to apply pressure to stave off some of the bleeding.

"Don't touch her!" Garrus snapped, shoving Kaidan off.

"We don't have time to argue about this, if we don't do something she's going to die. I know you're trying to protect her, but you aren't making the situation any easier. We'll deal with our hatred for each other later." Kaidan shot back, resuming his attempt to apply pressure.

Garrus looked at Nevara who was staring at him. The glossy look of death crossed her eyes. "I always knew I was living on borrowed time." She laughed, coughing up some blood. "You know, to be honest, a little bloodletting really does hurt sometimes."

Garrus faked a smile. "You're going to be fine, Nevara. I promise." He said, in a low growl of a voice. He wiped his hand across his face, smearing it with her burgundy blood.

"You know it looks good on you." Nevara smiled, her voice barely a whisper.

"What does?" Garrus asked.

"The red with the blue." She answered lifting her hand to trace the facial tattoo with her finger.

Garrus laughed quietly at her comment, "It makes purple."

"I know." She smirked closing her eyes.

The bustling and yelling going on around her faded to black. Her breathing shallow and slow neared its end. _Death, the end of one journey and the start of the next._

**A/N: Look forward to the final installment titled "Bound by Enemy Minds" and see how Shepard and Vakarian get out of the mess thrown in their laps.**


End file.
